"The Shack" - Personal Insights & Life Lessons #4

LESSONS FROM THE SHACK
PART 4

Review from prior weeks - topics covered:

1. How does God speak to us?
2. How do we know it's Him?
3. How do we prepare to hear from God?

Week #2:
1. Will God ever make me jump? What do you need to die to?

2. What is Your image of God and is it connected to your earthly father like Mack's?
3. What about your story -- Are you hiding some things about your story because of fear? Are you like Mack – you share some of it and then distract yourself from the reality and pain of it? Who are you sharing your story with?

WEEK #3:
There are different ways people deal with pain & tragedy…

- drown it (alcohol, drugs, sex, etc)
- run from it
- withdraw
- keep in mind that...dealing with pain or avoiding it can lead to depression –difference between clinical depression and situational depression
- anger
· reach out (healthy)
Romans 12:15 NIV
- struggle with guilt & regret:
Play the If only game:

Potential Negative Impacts of Tragedy:
- wall yourself off from pain – self-protection strategies
- creates a rift between you and others
- creates a rift between you and God

Healthy Response to Tragedy:
Nan Example -- This can only happen with the kind of relationship Nan has with God – Papa Draw close to God.. didn't run from pain… Nan sought the truth in God's word and hearing His voice….

LESSONS FROM "THE SHACK"

PART 4

The Great Sadness Chapter 4 – "Sadness is a wall between two gardens." - Kahlil Gibran


Chapter 5 - Begins with 3 plausible explanations for the note -
1. It was from God
2. It was a cruel joke
3. It was a sinister plan from Missy's killer

The note dominated Mack's thoughts (expound). Have you ever struggled with obsessive thoughts? Something intrudes on your day-to-day activities .. no matter how hard you try.. you can't stop thinking about it.. trying to figure it out.

Secretly, Mack began to plan a trip to the shack the following weekend. He told no one.. not even Nan (do we share with others when we are going to go into our pain?)
Mack said "I am keeping it to myself for Nan’s sake" besides, acknowledging the note would mean admitting that he had kept secrets from her; secrets he still justified in his own mind. He thought.. 'Sometimes honesty can be incredibly messy'.. (rationalize)
It all worked out for him... Nan planned a trip to her sister's.. which worked out perfectly for Mack and his plans.
On the sly, Mack called up his friend Willie and made arrangements to borrow his 4 wheel drive jeep since Nan was taking the van .. he needed something better than his small car to navigate the pitted roads in the Reserve which were more than likely still buried in snow.


As soon as Nan and the kids were on their way, Mack began his preparations for the long dive to Northeastern Oregon -- to the place of his nightmares. He reasoned that he wouldn't need to take too much if God had sent him the note, but just in case, he loaded up a cooler with much more than enough for the miles he would be traveling as well as the other necessities like a sleeping bag, etc....

When his friend Willie showed up, he had many questions of course... Mack didn't want to tell him but knew there was no use lying to his friend.. and he needed his jeep which Willie said he wouldn't give him the keys to until he told him exactly what was going on. So .. he told him... I'm going back to the Shack..

Following are responses from Willie (W).. but they are lessons for us on how people may respond when we tell them we are going to deal with our pain... our past.. going on a healing journey:

1. W -why do you even want to go back there? Ever have anyone think you were crazy or that you were doing something unChristian by dealing with your pain and the past?

2. W - why this time of year? (why now) People will convince you it's not a good time.. if you let them... out of concern for you of course.. But.. what is God telling you?

3. After sharing the note with him.. W - what kind of loony kook would write you something like this? and.. who is Papa? You aren't really thinking this is God are you? (people question whether you are hearing from God - did you really hear his voice?) God sometimes works in ways we do not understand and those around us certainly don't understand so they question to a fault.
Mack's response.. I know it sounds crazy but somehow I feel strangely drawn to find out for sure.. I have to go... or it'll drive me nuts forever.

4. W - have you thought this might be the killer? Warnings from friends... legit? maybe not M- only God would have the kind of information given on that note..

5. W - God doesn't do stuff like that? (ever have someone challenge you on something because they have never experienced it? - it's not specifically in the Bible word for word so they challenge you) Mack - Willie.. I would like to believe that God would care enough about me to send me a note.. do what he needed to do to get my attention.. I am so confused even after all this time and it is getting worse instead of better (example). I feel like we're losing Kate and that's killing me. maybe what happened was God's judgment for what I did to my own dad (ex). I don't know.. "all I know is that I need to go back' ……after silence....

6. W - so when do we leave? friends will offer to go with us.. and they sort of do.. but.. they don't experience it with you... M - thanks buddy but I really need to do this alone. It's true - dealing with your pain is a very personal, between you and God kind of thing. We need others to support, pray and encourage us but they cannot feel or deal with it for us.

7. W - gave him a pistol and box of shells (protection).. using violence to solve a problem always landed Mack in a worse problem.(go after those who hurt you). so.. let’s look at this positively and say it can be changed to …and offer of PRAYER

8. W’s last question.. not an offer or a challenge.. curiosity.. so.. what do you think He I(God) looks like? Mack grinned at the thought… maybe he’s a bright light, a burning bush, maybe he looks like a really big grandpa with a long white flowing beard.. kinda like Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings

Finally Willie offered encouragement and prayer… and Mack knew he would keep his word.. he was a good friend who kept his word.. and certainly Mack knew he needed all the prayer he could get! After that… Willie left and Mack headed to bed for a ‘sleepless night’… Have any of those? When you decided to come to LifeCare – get into counseling.. deal with the issues in your life?

The next pages in the book give us a clear picture of some of the challenges we face when we make that decision..

Mack retraced the same path him and his kids had taken three and a half years before knowing that he was going to face the emotions & thoughts he had securely padlocked in the basement of his own heart…

Challenges we Face:

1. Panic M felt it .. penetrated his consciousness
2. Avoidance he kept trying to push the thoughts away about what he was doing and going to do
3. Repressed Feelings & Fears Come Up – he expressed it like: grass pushing through concrete
4. Temptation to Quit – every off ramp – turn around and go home- knew he was driving straight into the center of his pain.. the vortex of the Great Sadness that had diminished his sense of being alive (we want to run from it - it is natural to have that desire - who in their right mind would want to run INTO pain)
5. Flashbacks – visual memory & fury came in waves - remembering and seeing the scenes from the past in your mind
6. Time seems to slow down - will I ever get there? will it ever get better?
7. Negative Self-talk about your decision (times you say things in your head that attempt to talk yourself out of it and make you think you are crazy for trying and trusting)
8. Barriers to press through (there are times we seem to be stuck - we must press through)
9. Feel sick! – emotionally, mentally, sometimes even physically
10. Challenged with choices – Help me! reach for God.. reach for what can motivate you to continue – Remember...why you are doing this – Mack remembered by looking at a picture of Missy - desire for resolution, healing, a better future for him and his family
11. Distraction – every step took concentration - we have to stay focused on the goal and the path
12. Question our choices – a. things start feeling they are getting worse instead of better – Mack– wrong path – forest seemed to be closing in around him b. is this really worth it? we doubt that we are really going to heal..Mack - said he came all this way for nothing
13. Spiritual Warfare – M – shack looked dead, empty, seemed to transform into an evil face.. in a demonic grimace.. daring him to approach.. Mack – pressed on – do it afraid! Fight! - use your armor in Ephesians 6!
14. Legitimate & False Guilt – express Anger – toward the perpetrator, the situation, toward God, toward self – Mack let all out.. til he was spent.. in a heap on the floor
15. Question God’s existence and His goodness
16. Escape Options – go back to what you always did for relief.. (back to Egypt) Suicide looks like an option - a way out of the pain (Mack even said it would be one way to strike back at God – if God even existed) – He was exhausted and fell asleep.. woke up..as he was walking away from the Shack… something began to change..
17. Question the ‘realness’ of it… the healing has begun.. transformation has begun… Mack as he was walking away from the shack and that emotional experience – everything around him began to change.. flowers – like spring in the woods… He couldn't believe what he was seeing, experiencing.



GROUP WORK
LESSONS FROM THE SHACK
PART 4


1. Discuss the ways your friends and family responded to you when you made the decision to work through pain, tragedy or hurt in your past? Were there similarities to how Willie responded to Mack? Which were similar?

2. Discuss the challenges Mack faced while on his journey to the Shack. Share which you have encountered and those you had to break through in order to continue.

3. Share your reaction to how Mack talked to God and expressed his anger. Why do you think this might be a necessary step to healing?


Series Challenge: Read the Shack