"The Shack" - Life Lessons & Insights #5

LESSONS FROM THE SHACK
PART 5

Review of Lesson #4
How people may respond when we tell them we are dealing with our pain... our past.. going on a healing journey:

1. Why do you even want to go back there?
2. why now?
3. People question whether you are hearing from God
4. Warnings
5. God doesn't do stuff like that
6. They will offer to go with us.. and they sort of do.. but.. they don't experience it with you...
7. They offer protection...(possibly go after those who hurt you)

Challenges we Face:

1. Panic
2. Avoidance
3. Repressed Feelings & Fears Come Up
4. Temptation to Quit
5. Flashbacks – visual memory & fury came in waves
6. Time seems to slow down
7. Negative Self-talk about your decision
8. Barriers to press through
9. Feel sick! – emotionally, mentally, sometimes even physically
10. Challenged with choices
11. Question our choices
12. Spiritual Warfare
13. Legitimate & False Guilt
14. Escape Options – go back to what you always did for relief
15. Question the ‘realness’ of it… the healing has begun.. transformation has begun. Everything around us begins to change.





LESSONS FROM THE SHACK
PART 5
Page 81 - 84

LET THE HEALING BEGIN

Mack thought he was losing his mind.. This isn’t real.. can’t be happening.. What he saw was a place he could only imagine in his dreams.. However, interestingly, the scents and images brought back some long-stored remembrances of his own childhood.

He walked back to the shack .. once on the porch, he heard voices inside.. part of him wanted to just run away but the other part knew if God was really here.. he couldn’t run from Him anyway.. He shook his head again thinking that would bring his mind back to reality.. this must not be real.. he touched the wood railing to see if he could feel it to confirm ‘realness’. Ok.. so his next dilemma was.. if you are coming to a house/ a door where God might be.. what do you do? Knock? God already knows you're there.. He’s God! Should one just walk in.. introduce yourself?.. hmm.. even that seems absurd… Should you call him Mr. God?.. Almighty One? – what do you do? Fall on your face, your knees? He wasn’t in the mood for that…

As he went through this dialogue in his head, the anger he thought had died inside him began to emerge once again… so.. he walks up to the door and decides to bang on it loudly to see what would happen… just as he raised his fist, the door flew open and a large beaming African-American woman was looking directly into his face. She then engulfed him in her arms, lifted him clear off this feet spinning him around like a little child shouting his name “Mackenzie Allen Philips” – saying it like you would when seeing a long-lost, deeply-loved relative.
Has anyone - a parent - every called out your entire name.. hmmm.. if you had experiences like me.. if my mom yelled all of my names at once.. it wasn't good.. *grin* But not in this case.... This woman finally put Mack down and pushed him back to get a good look at him.. “Look at you, all grown up”, etc.. and then.. “my, my, my how I do love you!”… wrapped herself around him again..

How would you react? Let’s get some insights from this portion of the book and questions to ask ourselves:

So.. we start seeing things differently.. we’ve had this experience (last talk/lesson) where we finally get some things out.. we are broken, spent, drained.. then.. all of a sudden things start looking different.. our senses seem to be coming to life.. things are different.. then.. we go back to meet with God again.. after that outburst – remember.. Mack expressed a ton of anger… so.. if we do the same (anger, sin, disappointments, pain, fear, rage).. then what? What is it like to approach God again after that? Maybe we go through some of the same things Mack did.

In our minds we dialogue.... when I approach.. what do a say? What should I call Him? Mr. God The Almighty.. fall on our face.. knees, worship…. We want to run.. but we choose not to.. why? At this point we know.. just like the disciples “where can we run.. where can we go? SCRIPTURE… John 6:67-69 (New International Version)
"You do not want to leave too, do you?" Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God."
Psalm 139:7-11 (New International Version) Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.


So we stand still.. sit still.. and before we know it.. God appears on the scene.. Eager to see us – holding us.. saying our name (Scripture).. Isaiah 43:1But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
Isaiah 45:3I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.
Isaiah 45:4For the sake of Jacob my servant, of Israel my chosen, I summon you by name and bestow on you a title of honor, though you do not acknowledge me.
John 10:2-4 (New International Version)
2The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. 3The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.

Picture in your mind what was taking place here… can you see it? Can you hear the joy – how God is delighted to see Mack.. He delights in seeing you.. holding you.. what we see is a very childlike experience here… that is difficult for many of us? Why? We have lost the ability to be childlike.. somewhere along the way life became way too serious.. for some of us.. it became very serious when we were children.. we did not enjoy the normal innocence and playfulness we should have experienced in our homes.. so we struggle with this concept… Or perhaps.. we don’t understand the difference between being childish and childlike…

DEFINE -- CHILDISH vs. childlike
Childish: Marked by or indicating a lack of maturity; puerile: tired of your childish pranks.
Affected mentally by old age; senile

child·like Like or befitting a child, as in innocence, trustfulness, or candor.

exhibiting childlike simplicity ; "childlike trust"; "dewy-eyed innocence"; "listened in round-eyed wonder"
a. Resembling a child, meek; submissive; dutiful
b. Note: Childlike, as applied to persons grown up, is commonly in a good sense; as, childlike grace or simplicity; childlike modesty.

Jesus said: Matthew 11:25 "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.
Matthew 18:3And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Expressions of love… “saying his/our name.. my my.. let me look at you.. ‘oh how I love you’..

1. We are speechless in those moments… ever been there? We feel like we have messed up so bad or.. said the wrong thing to God one too many times.. surely He will reject us – abandon us now…
Deuteronomy 31:6Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:8The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."


Back to Mack and this woman, in a few seconds, she had crossed every line.. every wall of protection Mack had in place.. There was something about the way she looked at him.. yelled his name… somehow it made him feel equally delighted to see her too.... even tho he had no clue who she was!!!

Suddenly he was overwhelmed by the scent coming from her.. a mixture of flowers like gardenia and jasmine… it was unmistakably his mother's perfume that he kept hidden away in his little tin box. He was already fighting intense emotion and with this scent came a flood of memories that staggered him.. He could feel the warmth of his tears beginning to gather behind his eyes… just then he heard the words “it’s ok honey you can let it all out…I know you’ve been hurt, you’re angry and confused”…even tho Mack couldn’t stop the tears from filing his eyes, he just was not wiling to let go.. really let it out… the tears.. the pain… This woman stood there with arms outstretched inviting him in.. as if they were the arms of his mother.. He felt the presence of love…but was frozen.. couldn’t move.. couldn’t allow himself to fully feel… She responded to him.. “not ready.. that’s ok.. we will do things on your terms and in your time”..

What does this mean for us?
This woman had crossed every self-protective wall in that moment.. Ever have that experience with God before? Somehow God goes beyond our defense mechanisms and we are able to put them aside.. even if it is just for a moment. How did God do that in this case?

The senses..? Have you ever had an experience where you had a scent trigger emotion that reminded you of someone or some place – negative or positive? In this case.. the scent of Mack’s mother’s perfume.. God used it to soften him… (examples) discuss aroma therapy.. lavender –calming- think God could use his creation to impact us? I think so!

Mack was fighting the tears.
Sometimes we do too.. don’t we?.. and if we are responsive and listen and stay open.. God will find a way to break through..
Then of course.. once our defenses are down.. we are invited to let it out.. let the hurt and disappointment out.. tears are healing to the soul..

Another big lesson to learn from this portion of the book.. will be dealt with in detail much later …but, we might as well deal with it now.. Why in the world do we see a representation of God in this book as a ‘mother figure’?…
I want to remind you: God is genderless… We are made in his image.. that would be the fullness of maleness and the fullness of femaleness is God.. Genesis “ 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. NLT 27 So God created human beings[b] in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

So.. God has the fullness of mothering and fathering.. He is both… and.. He is the perfect father and mother.. He is the perfect parent… There are reasons we will see later that Mack needed to meet God in this way.. but.. lets start here by looking at some Biblical texts that show us this nurturing, motherly character of our loving God:

Isaiah 49:15"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!
Isaiah 49:15 (Amplified Bible)[And the Lord answered] Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yes, they may forget, yet I will not forget you.
Matthew 23:37 – this is Jesus talking.."O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.

Matthew 23:37 (Amplified Bible) O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, murdering the prophets and stoning those who are sent to you! How often would I have gathered your children together as a mother fowl gathers her brood under her wings, and you refused!
Zephaniah 3:17The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3:17 (Amplified Bible)
17The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior [Who saves]! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest [in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult over you with singing.

Life Application of this Lesson:

a. If you are angry - express it.. even if it is toward God... – express everything that is inside you.. let it out… express your disappointments as well as how you believe you have disappointed others and God…

b. Don't allow shame or guilt to keep you from approaching God after you have thrown your fit! He is waiting... just approach the door and he will enthusiastically invite you in!

c. Come to Him with a childlike disposition and allow Him to nurture you/delight in you.

This is the beginning of a new life-long intimacy with God IF you will embrace the truth and reality of who God really is.







GROUP WORK
LESSONS FROM THE SHACK
PART 5 – Pages 81-84


THE HEALING HAS BEGUN...

1. Have you ever questioned the healing God has done in a certain area of your life/seems too good to be true? Share.

2. Share about a time when you were fearful or hesitant in approaching the Lord after something happened in your life (a bad choice, attitude, expression of anger toward others or Him).


3. What is your reaction to how Mack was treated when the door was opened?


4. Share about a time or your anticipated need and desire to experience the nurturing character of God.

Series Challenge: Read the Shack

"The Shack" - Personal Insights & Life Lessons #4

LESSONS FROM THE SHACK
PART 4

Review from prior weeks - topics covered:

1. How does God speak to us?
2. How do we know it's Him?
3. How do we prepare to hear from God?

Week #2:
1. Will God ever make me jump? What do you need to die to?

2. What is Your image of God and is it connected to your earthly father like Mack's?
3. What about your story -- Are you hiding some things about your story because of fear? Are you like Mack – you share some of it and then distract yourself from the reality and pain of it? Who are you sharing your story with?

WEEK #3:
There are different ways people deal with pain & tragedy…

- drown it (alcohol, drugs, sex, etc)
- run from it
- withdraw
- keep in mind that...dealing with pain or avoiding it can lead to depression –difference between clinical depression and situational depression
- anger
· reach out (healthy)
Romans 12:15 NIV
- struggle with guilt & regret:
Play the If only game:

Potential Negative Impacts of Tragedy:
- wall yourself off from pain – self-protection strategies
- creates a rift between you and others
- creates a rift between you and God

Healthy Response to Tragedy:
Nan Example -- This can only happen with the kind of relationship Nan has with God – Papa Draw close to God.. didn't run from pain… Nan sought the truth in God's word and hearing His voice….

LESSONS FROM "THE SHACK"

PART 4

The Great Sadness Chapter 4 – "Sadness is a wall between two gardens." - Kahlil Gibran


Chapter 5 - Begins with 3 plausible explanations for the note -
1. It was from God
2. It was a cruel joke
3. It was a sinister plan from Missy's killer

The note dominated Mack's thoughts (expound). Have you ever struggled with obsessive thoughts? Something intrudes on your day-to-day activities .. no matter how hard you try.. you can't stop thinking about it.. trying to figure it out.

Secretly, Mack began to plan a trip to the shack the following weekend. He told no one.. not even Nan (do we share with others when we are going to go into our pain?)
Mack said "I am keeping it to myself for Nan’s sake" besides, acknowledging the note would mean admitting that he had kept secrets from her; secrets he still justified in his own mind. He thought.. 'Sometimes honesty can be incredibly messy'.. (rationalize)
It all worked out for him... Nan planned a trip to her sister's.. which worked out perfectly for Mack and his plans.
On the sly, Mack called up his friend Willie and made arrangements to borrow his 4 wheel drive jeep since Nan was taking the van .. he needed something better than his small car to navigate the pitted roads in the Reserve which were more than likely still buried in snow.


As soon as Nan and the kids were on their way, Mack began his preparations for the long dive to Northeastern Oregon -- to the place of his nightmares. He reasoned that he wouldn't need to take too much if God had sent him the note, but just in case, he loaded up a cooler with much more than enough for the miles he would be traveling as well as the other necessities like a sleeping bag, etc....

When his friend Willie showed up, he had many questions of course... Mack didn't want to tell him but knew there was no use lying to his friend.. and he needed his jeep which Willie said he wouldn't give him the keys to until he told him exactly what was going on. So .. he told him... I'm going back to the Shack..

Following are responses from Willie (W).. but they are lessons for us on how people may respond when we tell them we are going to deal with our pain... our past.. going on a healing journey:

1. W -why do you even want to go back there? Ever have anyone think you were crazy or that you were doing something unChristian by dealing with your pain and the past?

2. W - why this time of year? (why now) People will convince you it's not a good time.. if you let them... out of concern for you of course.. But.. what is God telling you?

3. After sharing the note with him.. W - what kind of loony kook would write you something like this? and.. who is Papa? You aren't really thinking this is God are you? (people question whether you are hearing from God - did you really hear his voice?) God sometimes works in ways we do not understand and those around us certainly don't understand so they question to a fault.
Mack's response.. I know it sounds crazy but somehow I feel strangely drawn to find out for sure.. I have to go... or it'll drive me nuts forever.

4. W - have you thought this might be the killer? Warnings from friends... legit? maybe not M- only God would have the kind of information given on that note..

5. W - God doesn't do stuff like that? (ever have someone challenge you on something because they have never experienced it? - it's not specifically in the Bible word for word so they challenge you) Mack - Willie.. I would like to believe that God would care enough about me to send me a note.. do what he needed to do to get my attention.. I am so confused even after all this time and it is getting worse instead of better (example). I feel like we're losing Kate and that's killing me. maybe what happened was God's judgment for what I did to my own dad (ex). I don't know.. "all I know is that I need to go back' ……after silence....

6. W - so when do we leave? friends will offer to go with us.. and they sort of do.. but.. they don't experience it with you... M - thanks buddy but I really need to do this alone. It's true - dealing with your pain is a very personal, between you and God kind of thing. We need others to support, pray and encourage us but they cannot feel or deal with it for us.

7. W - gave him a pistol and box of shells (protection).. using violence to solve a problem always landed Mack in a worse problem.(go after those who hurt you). so.. let’s look at this positively and say it can be changed to …and offer of PRAYER

8. W’s last question.. not an offer or a challenge.. curiosity.. so.. what do you think He I(God) looks like? Mack grinned at the thought… maybe he’s a bright light, a burning bush, maybe he looks like a really big grandpa with a long white flowing beard.. kinda like Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings

Finally Willie offered encouragement and prayer… and Mack knew he would keep his word.. he was a good friend who kept his word.. and certainly Mack knew he needed all the prayer he could get! After that… Willie left and Mack headed to bed for a ‘sleepless night’… Have any of those? When you decided to come to LifeCare – get into counseling.. deal with the issues in your life?

The next pages in the book give us a clear picture of some of the challenges we face when we make that decision..

Mack retraced the same path him and his kids had taken three and a half years before knowing that he was going to face the emotions & thoughts he had securely padlocked in the basement of his own heart…

Challenges we Face:

1. Panic M felt it .. penetrated his consciousness
2. Avoidance he kept trying to push the thoughts away about what he was doing and going to do
3. Repressed Feelings & Fears Come Up – he expressed it like: grass pushing through concrete
4. Temptation to Quit – every off ramp – turn around and go home- knew he was driving straight into the center of his pain.. the vortex of the Great Sadness that had diminished his sense of being alive (we want to run from it - it is natural to have that desire - who in their right mind would want to run INTO pain)
5. Flashbacks – visual memory & fury came in waves - remembering and seeing the scenes from the past in your mind
6. Time seems to slow down - will I ever get there? will it ever get better?
7. Negative Self-talk about your decision (times you say things in your head that attempt to talk yourself out of it and make you think you are crazy for trying and trusting)
8. Barriers to press through (there are times we seem to be stuck - we must press through)
9. Feel sick! – emotionally, mentally, sometimes even physically
10. Challenged with choices – Help me! reach for God.. reach for what can motivate you to continue – Remember...why you are doing this – Mack remembered by looking at a picture of Missy - desire for resolution, healing, a better future for him and his family
11. Distraction – every step took concentration - we have to stay focused on the goal and the path
12. Question our choices – a. things start feeling they are getting worse instead of better – Mack– wrong path – forest seemed to be closing in around him b. is this really worth it? we doubt that we are really going to heal..Mack - said he came all this way for nothing
13. Spiritual Warfare – M – shack looked dead, empty, seemed to transform into an evil face.. in a demonic grimace.. daring him to approach.. Mack – pressed on – do it afraid! Fight! - use your armor in Ephesians 6!
14. Legitimate & False Guilt – express Anger – toward the perpetrator, the situation, toward God, toward self – Mack let all out.. til he was spent.. in a heap on the floor
15. Question God’s existence and His goodness
16. Escape Options – go back to what you always did for relief.. (back to Egypt) Suicide looks like an option - a way out of the pain (Mack even said it would be one way to strike back at God – if God even existed) – He was exhausted and fell asleep.. woke up..as he was walking away from the Shack… something began to change..
17. Question the ‘realness’ of it… the healing has begun.. transformation has begun… Mack as he was walking away from the shack and that emotional experience – everything around him began to change.. flowers – like spring in the woods… He couldn't believe what he was seeing, experiencing.



GROUP WORK
LESSONS FROM THE SHACK
PART 4


1. Discuss the ways your friends and family responded to you when you made the decision to work through pain, tragedy or hurt in your past? Were there similarities to how Willie responded to Mack? Which were similar?

2. Discuss the challenges Mack faced while on his journey to the Shack. Share which you have encountered and those you had to break through in order to continue.

3. Share your reaction to how Mack talked to God and expressed his anger. Why do you think this might be a necessary step to healing?


Series Challenge: Read the Shack