HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY - A RADICAL ANTIDOTE

The last several week of our class has given us a lot of information on detecting unhealthiness and also outlined a bit of the goal / what health looks like in a Christ follower and just briefly on how to begin the journey.  Tonight and the next several weeks, we are going to go into great detail on the ‘how to’s’. 

The first thing we need to do is to plan and prepare for the journey.  Pastor Peter calls these gifts – the three gifts of integrating emotional health and contemplative spirituality.  We are simply going to call them gifts you need to give to yourself while preparing and walking through this journey of coming into healthy spirituality:

1.      the gift of slowing down

2.      the gift of anchoring in God’s love; and

3.      the gift of breaking free from illusions.

1. The Gift of Slowing Down:  almost everyone is busy.. too busy..  Mike spoke a couple of weeks ago about setting limits and boundaries and that is a sign of spiritual health.  At this stage of the process.. we have to begin to practice some limits/ some slowing down strategies in order to get to where God wants us to be.  All of us are probably too active right now to have time for the kind of reflection we need to do this… reflection that allows for an inward journey, listening to God and ourselves.  We must take time to slow down and reflect.  This is where journaling comes in.. take time to write, think, contemplate.

Many of us have heard the story of Mary & Martha in Luke 10:38-42 

 ³⁸ As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

   ⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one.^[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Most of us have heard and read that story and we think immediately that Martha was being reprimanded for being busy and yet.. what she was tending to were all things that needed to be taken care of.  I want to offer you a new perspective – one that I learned a long time ago and one that Pastor Peter brings out in the book.  You see.. Martha’s problem went far beyond busyness – her life was uncentered and divided.  I believe that if Martha sat down at Jesus’ feet like Mary did, she would still be busy and distracted inside.  Her inner self is touchy, irritable, and anxious.  One of the surest signs of her life being out of order was the fact that she even told Jesus what to do!!  J

Mary was ‘being’ with Jesus.  She had the ability to be in the moment/ to be fully present with Him.  She was able to enjoy intimacy with Him – She was fully engaged and in tune with Jesus.  I believe that even if she was helping Martha with the household chores/ preparations, she would not be worried or upset.  Why?  Because her inner self has slowed down enough to focus on Jesus and He has become the center of her life.

Now, in order for us to get to a place like Mary, we have to start by stopping!  In our initial stopping and slowing down, we will create a familiarity with God’s presence, we will then learn how to be fully conscious of Him at all times because we will recognize Him and be deeply rooted in Him.    Not only that, but recovery/ healing / growth takes time – make a decision to give it 100%.  It takes time to grieve, feel, listen, reflect… and learn how to love well.  The goal of our lives, should be to love well.  Genuine fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives is marked by supernatural love working in and through us (1 Cor 13)

So.. in order to reach our goals/ which I believe are God’s goals for us – spiritual health – we have to set aside some time for it.  We must set limits with His help that are related to our personalities, temperament, gift mix, physical, emotional and spiritual capacity. Therefore, your journey is going to look differently for each of you.

2. The Gift of Anchoring in God’s Love:  Christianity is not about our disciplined pursuits of God… it’s about God’s relentless pursuit of us.  God loves us so intensely, He died for us.. He loves us so much that when we turn back to Him after our wanderings, all of heaven breaks out in celebration (see Luke 15:7).   Most of us believe this intellectually but experiencing His infinite love in our hearts, is another matter.  Why?

The voices in our world, from within, and from our past seem to be much louder than God’s voice/ His truth.  We all have some deeply held beliefs that are tripping us up and keeping us from fully being anchored in God’s love.  Some of these negative beliefs are:

·        I am a mistake

·        ..a burden

·        ..stupid

·        ..worthless

·        ..not allowed to make mistakes

·        I must be approved of by certain people to feel okay

·        I don’t have the right to experience joy and pleasure

·        ..have the right to assert myself and say what I think and feel

·        ..have a right to feel

·        I am valued based on my intelligence, wealth, and what I do, not for who I am.

Any of these sound familiar?  It is astounding how many Christ followers would say yes to so many of these beliefs.

As we move toward getting anchored in God’s love, and how deeply he loves us –receive the prayer from the Apostle Paul in Eph 3:18-19 (New Living Translation)

¹⁸ And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. ¹⁹ May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
When we are anchored in God’s love, we will have a more biblical self-understanding:

·        I hold myself in high regard despite my imperfections and limits

·        I am worthy to assert my God-given power in the world

·        I am entitled to exist

·        It is good that I exist

·        I have my own identity from God that is distinct and unique

·        I am worthy of being valued and paid attention to

·        I am entitled to joy and pleasure

·        I am entitled to make mistakes and not be perfect

Your assignment – take some of the above and write them out as affirmations that you carry with you for the next several seeks and leave them in places where you will run into them and read them regularly throughout the course of your day.

I must also learn that anchoring myself in God’s love is going to mean that I must be ok with Him using human love for me to receive His love.  Defensive walls we have built must come down. 

So how can we practice contemplative spirituality and anchor ourselves in God’s love?

Practice (go through list then go back):

·        Silence

·        Solitude

·        Daily meditation on God’s word

·        Daily Prayer

·        Daily time of self-reflection

·        Practice the Sabbath

Repeat and add comments…

·        Daily meditation on God’s word

·        Daily Prayer – both of which help us to stop daily/ regularly so we can be mindful of His presence.  Mother Theresa required her missionaries of charity to spend three one-hour blocks of time each day for prayer to sustain their love for God and the dying.  St. Francis of Assisi left the monasteries for the streets to proclaim Christ but had a rhythm of leaving the cities to be alone with God for days and weeks at a time.

We may not be called to be monks, but we can learn many things from them as we seek to follow Christ.  Example:  one of my counselees is going through a healing process and really seeking to be anchored in God’s love.  She is beginning to understand and see the value in time alone away from all the routine and busyness of life.  So.. this week she is going to a camp/ lodge – spending the whole week with no technology – only her Bible and workbook she has been going through with me for her healing journey.  She was also intentional about picking a place that is close by where she went to high school.  She has some very painful memories there and plans to visit and allow herself to feel/ grieve/ deal with the emotions and memories of those events and allow God to speak truth and healing to her.  Journaling is another exercise that we could all benefit from that she will be doing as well.

·        Daily time of self-reflection (Step 10) – in order to become and stay healthy, we need to be self-aware (Ps 139)  If we choose to do this at the end of every day, it will also enable us to cultivate an attitude of gratitude as we reflect over the day and the blessings God has given and even the things He potentially spared us from.

·        Practice the Sabbath – stopping one day a week to rest to delight in God’s creation and to take care of ourselves not only anchors me in God’s love but anchors me in the practice of ‘being’ not simply ‘doing’.

All of these help us to Stop!  And enable us to become more and more aware of who God is and His inexhaustible love for us.  As we practice these things regularly and do our self-reflection, we will begin to see our image of God change.  Some of us have a very skewed image of who He is.  We may see Him as the celestial watchmaker in the sky – He created the word and set things in motion but He doesn’t really have any direct involvement any longer.  We may see Him as an angry, punishing God or we may see him as demanding and anti-human.  We may even see Him as being totally passive about our lives and needs.  I have mentioned this before but the research proves that much of our image of God comes from that of our parents – especially our fathers.  So, if our father was not spiritually healthy and mature, more than likely, we have some issues to work through as it relates to our Heavenly Father.  Scripture reveals our Heavenly Father as one who seeks our good in any and every situation.  And He also seeks to mature us as His children.

Brennan Manning summarizes the results of anchoring in the love of God as this:

“It is always true to some extent that we make our images of God.  It is even truer that our image of God makes us.  Eventually we become like the God we image.  One of the most beautiful fruits of knowing the God of Jesus is a compassionate attitude towards ourselves…This is why Scripture attaches such importance to knowing God.  Healing our image of God heals our image of ourselves.”

God delights in us.. He wants us to delight in Him, know Him, trust Him, be anchored in His love!

Finally.. the third gift of integrating emotional health and contemplative spirituality is:

3.   The Gift of Breaking Free from Illusions – The call to healthy spirituality is a call to a radical, counterculture life.  I must:

·        Break free to live in the truth – stop pretending – be authentic and let others know what is really taking place inside of me

·        Break free by choosing to live the unique life God has designed for me and not someone else’s (to find out more come to the God’s GPS seminar next Saturday)

·        Break free from the need to attach yourself to accomplishments, things, people’s approval to feel ok about who you are.

·        Break free from generational patterns of your family and culture that negatively affect how you relate and live today

·        Break free from the illusion that there is something richer, more beautiful, than the gift of loving and being loved

·        Break free from the layers of your false self

·        Break free from wrong perspectives on life and see your life as Christ defines success

·        Break free from any belief that prevents us from seeing our lives as a vapor.  We can live in the reality of eternity each day and not the shortness of this earthly life.

·        Break free from selfish desires that consistently move us away from God’s will for our lives.

David, a man after God’s own heart, modeled beautifully for us the integration of emotional health and comtemplative spirituality in Ps 55:1-2, 4-5, 16-17

 (New Living Translation)

Psalm 55

 ¹ Listen to my prayer, O God.
      Do not ignore my cry for help!
 ² Please listen and answer me,
      for I am overwhelmed by my troubles.

 ⁴ My heart pounds in my chest.
      The terror of death assaults me.
 ⁵ Fear and trembling overwhelm me,
      and I can’t stop shaking.
 ¹⁶ But I will call on God,
      and the Lord will rescue me.
 ¹⁷ Morning, noon, and night
      I cry out in my distress,
      and the Lord hears my voice.

GROUP WORK - HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY - LESSON 6

A RADICAL ANTIDOTE

1.  How will you begin to give yourself the gift of ‘slowing down’ this week?  What benefits do you expect to receive from this practice?

2.  Are you a Mary or a Martha currently? (Remember the proper interpretation of this text in Luke)  Explain.

3.  What are some of the deeply held beliefs that are tripping you up in your walk toward maturity?

Examples shared were:

I am a mistake  ..a burden  ..stupid ..worthless ..not allowed to make mistakes …I must be approved of by certain people to feel okay ….I don’t have the right to experience joy and pleasure...have the right to assert myself and say what I think and feel...have a right to feel…I am valued based on my intelligence, wealth, and what I do, not for who I am.

4.What does anchoring yourself in God’s love mean to you?  Of the practices discussed, which are you currently doing and which are you going to be working on incorporating?

·        Silence

·        Solitude

·        Daily meditation on God’s word

·        Daily Prayer

·        Daily time of self-reflection

·        Practice the Sabbath

Hold one another accountable to do the assignment – write out affirmations that you carry with you for the next several seeks and leave them in places where you will run into them and read them regularly throughout the course of your day.

HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY - LESSON 5: Beginning Transformation to the Deep Places

Last week we discussed the final symptoms of unhealthy spirituality and started the beginnings of bringing transformation to the deep places in our lives.  I recently finished reading through the Bible – The Message paraphrase and I marked a page that I wanted to go back to.  It is the introduction that Eugene Peterson wrote to the book of Jude in the Bible.  It says this: ‘Our spiritual communities are as susceptible to disease as our physical bodies.  But it is easier to detect whatever is wrong in our stomachs and lungs than to our worship and witness.  When our physical bodies are sick or damaged, the pain calls our attention to this, and we hopefully do something about it.  But a dangerous, even deadly, virus in our spiritual communities can go undetected for a long time.  As much as we need physicians for our bodies, we have even greater need for diagnosticians and healers of the [emotions] and the spirit.”

So true… my prayer is that as a result of the time we have and are spending in identifying unhealthy spirituality, it will enable us to diagnosis ourselves and our communities we are worshiping in so we can be a help to others.

So.. what makes it so difficult to follow Jesus today and become spiritually healthy?  Besides our unhealthiness in all the parts of who we are, what prevents us from becoming all God intends?

Os Guiness says it has a lot to do with our culture.  “The global culture is the beast that threatens to swallow us up in these days.  The core values in the twenty-first century scream at us from computers, billboards, televisions, DVDs, music, schools, newspapers, magazines and iPods.”  We have lost a Biblical worldview…   

Our worldview comes from what the world tells us:

·        Happiness is found in having things  

·        You should get all you can for yourself, as quickly as you can

·        Security is found in money, power, status, and good health

Matthew 6:32-34 (New International Version)

³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

·        Above all, you should seek all the pleasure, convenience and comfort you can

·        God is irrelevant to everyday life

·        Christianity if just one of many alternative spiritualities

·        There are no moral absolutes; whatever is true for you is what is true

John 14:6
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

·        You’re not responsible for anyone but yourself

Galatians 6:1
[ Doing Good to All ] Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.

and..

·        This life on earth is all there is

All of these feed our fears, mistrust, fierce self-will, stubbornness and rebellion.

The apostle Paul had the courage to look within as we read in Romans 7:21-24 (New International Version)

 ²¹So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²²For in my inner being I delight in God's law; ²³but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. ²⁴What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?

Do we have that same courage?  

--A person can grow emotionally healthy without Christ. 

--A person can grow physically healthy without Christ or mentally for that matter.  You can all probably think of people who are non-Christian that are more loving, balanced and civil than many in our churches. 

At the same time, we can find people who are deeply committed to contemplative prayer/ spirituality like a monk perhaps that is emotionally unaware, out of tune with themselves and socially maladjusted.   How can this be? 

Very few people integrate working towards emotional health and contemplative spirituality.   

Let’s break the 2 down (from Emotionally Healthy Spirituality):

Emotional Health is concerned with such things as:

·        Naming, recognizing, and managing our own feelings

·        Identifying with and having active compassion for others (discuss personality and gifting differences here - DISC, True Colors) Even though our personality has natural bents, this cannot be an excuse for not developing mercy, care, compassion - we are all called to become like Christ.

·        Initiating and maintaining close and meaningful friendships

·        Breaking free from self-destructive patterns and habits (we are all sin addicts - what has a hold of you? controlling you? - if anything other that Christ is, you have some work to do to remove idols in your life)

·        Being aware of how our past impacts our present

·        Developing the capacity to express our thoughts and feelings clearly, both verbally and non verbally

·        Respecting and loving others without having to change them (acceptance/ live &; let live – discuss honoring parents that we can’t respect)

·        Asking for what we need, want, or prefer clearly, directly and respectfully

·        Accurately self-assessing our strengths, limits and weaknesses and freely sharing them with others

·        Learning the capacity to resolve conflict maturely and negotiate solutions that consider the perspectives of others

·        Distinguishing and appropriately expressing our sexuality and sensuality, and,

·        Grieving well  (why do you think this is on the list? - most believers do not 'encourage' grieving.. they try to put a band-aid on it)

Let’s go back and discuss the area of ‘needs’ briefly.  ·  Philippians 4:19
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.  

I think that often we read this scripture and we don’t realize the conditions that go with it.  Let’s look at the requirements that the Lord has established as boundaries around His promise to supply our needs:

OBEDIENCE – We cannot live in sin and disobedience and expect God to give us everything we request – including our needs.  Psalm 84:11

 ¹¹ For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
       the LORD bestows favor and honor;
       no good thing does he withhold
       from those who walk uprightly
This does not mean those who are sinless.. the focus is the intent of the heart – those whose hearts are bent toward the Lord and they want to please Him.  God assumes full responsibility for meeting the needs of those who obey Him and remember His word says “those who love me, obey me” – obedience is a byproduct of fully loving and being devoted to God.
Sometimes God will cause us to do without in order to bring us back to Himself (Luke 15:11-24).

ASK -  Just like what we learned healthy spirituality consists of:  Asking for what we need, want, or prefer clearly, directly and respectfully.  We have to be willing to first of all ask God to supply what we lack.  What is your first response when an unexpected problem arises?  Immediately bring it to the Lord or do you resort to worry, maneuvering, manipulating, figuring out how to handle it yourself?  We are told repeatedly in God’s word to come to Him with our requests (Phil 4:6).  Asking God for help and asking Him to meet our needs shows that our attitude is one of humble dependence on Him and not prideful self-reliance. Even if we have the resources and smarts to take care of ourselves, we should still recognize that all of it comes from HIM!

BELIEVE – When we ask.. we must ask with faith/ belief.  Mark 11:24 (New International Version)

²⁴Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Jesus wants us to be confident in the Father’s promises.  Caution: don’t use verses such as this in an attempt to get what you want.  Prayer must always be initiated with pure motives, or it is worthless.   Like it says in

James 4:3 (New International Version)

³When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

PARTICIPATE – God is not going to do anything for you that He has already equipped YOU to do.  For example:  what if I was simply trusting God to provide the lesson for next week and I did nothing to prepare for it?  Do you think the Lord would just drop a message in my head next Thursday? (hmmm.. maybe I’ll try that – NOT!).  No, He expects me to prepare and pray.  My laziness would not merit the blessing of God.  

WAIT – God not only knows  WHAT we need but WHEN we need it.  Some of the things we have asked for have already been granted by God, He is just waiting the ordained time to deliver it.  He always knows the best time to grant our petitions.   If you get impatient and try to rush ahead by doing things on your own in your own way, you’ll miss all he originally planned to give you… so…. Try to be patient as you wait and trust..

ACCEPT – God’s way of meeting our needs may not be what you envisioned or hoped.  Have you ever prayed and asked God for something and then proceeded to tell him HOW to He should intervene?  We must be open to whatever way He chooses to provide.

PRIORITIZE – Keep your eyes on the Lord; not on your needs!   And remember.. our greatest needs are not the most obvious ones, but those that have to do with the development of godly character; renewed minds, surrendered wills.  That’s what we should be seeking and asking the Lord to produce in us.

Contemplative spirituality focuses on practices such as:

·        Awakening and surrendering to God’s love in any and every situation

·        Positioning ourselves to hear God and remember His presence in all we do

·        Communing with God, allowing Him to fully indwell the depth of our being

·        Practicing silence, solitude, and a life of unceasing prayer (Apostle Paul – explain praying without ceasing)

·        Resting attentively in the presence of God

·        Understanding our earthly life as a journey of transformation toward ever-increasing union with God

·        Finding the true essence of who we are in God

·        Loving others out of a life of love for God  Romans 5:5
And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

·        Developing a balanced, harmonious rhythm of life that enables us to be aware of the sacred in all of life

·        Adapting historic practices of spirituality that are applicable today

·        Allowing our Christian lives to be shaped by the rhythms of the Christian calendar rather than culture (Sabbath/ discuss Lord’s day, etc) and,

·        Living in committed community that passionately loves Jesus above all else!

Together – emotional health and contemplative spirituality unleash the Holy Spirit in us in order that we might know experientially the power of an authentic life in Christ!

GROUP WORK - HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY - LESSON 5

BEGINNING TO BRING TRANSFORMATION TO THE DEEP PLACES

1.      Discuss your discipleship experience.  Did it include Contemplative spirituality as discussed this evening?

2.      Discuss your worldview.  How has it been shaped or is currently being shaped in your life?

3.      Discuss the conditions of God ‘meeting needs’.  Of the conditions, which do you find the most difficult for you:

Ask, BELIEVE, PARTICIPATE, WAIT, ACCEPT, PRIORITIZE 

4.       Of the list of contemplative spirituality focuses and practices, which are you currently doing and which were new thoughts/ practices you never considered?  Any that were a surprise?

The Great Exchange

This past weekend was one of the most amazing times with the Lord and a group of women seeking healing and deep connection with God.  The Great Exchange weekends are based on Isaiah 61 and how God exchanges some of the most painful experiences, character defects and life issues into something beautiful.  As we worshiped, experienced God through healing exercises, and loving connection from one another, it was evident that there were miracles taking place in our midst.  We will never be the same again!  The Lord truly exchanged shame, fear, mourning, despair, wounds, disappointment, pride, self-protection, loneliness, bitterness & anger for His amazing love, peace and joy.  There were so many moments when I looked up to the heavens giving thanks to God that He would allow me the privilege of entering into another's pain.. that He would and they would trust me and those around them with their most intimate thoughts, longings; the deepest places of their heart.  
I am reminded once again that God's word is true - "NOTHING is impossible with Him" and 'all things truly work for the good to those that love Him' (my life verse in Ro 8:28).  Out of our brokenness, God brings great beauty that He might be glorified.  Out of our tragedy, He brings triumph and goodness!  Together, these 22 women and I are now exhibiting more of who we are in Christ and as it says in Isaiah 61 - He has given us:     
a crown of beauty for ashes,
   a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
      festive praise instead of despair.
   In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
      that the Lord has planted for his own glory.

Our God is being glorified and we know that even greater things are yet to come!  Praise Him! 

The next Great Exchange weekend is being offered the last weekend of February - don' t miss out on your miracle!

HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY - LESSON 4 - Identifying the Problem Part 3

IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM – Part 3

Symptoms 8 - 10

and...BEGINNING TO BRING TRANSFORMATION TO THE DEEP PLACES

It was a joy to co-teach this lesson with my wonderful husband, Mike Smith.  Be sure to check back and listen to the audio which will be posted next week.

Matthew 9:12

“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

One of the most remarkable features of the human condition is our capacity to pretend that we are healthy when our lives are in total chaos. We work hard to cover up our problems and flaws in our character. We will sacrifice almost anything to keep from facing the truth about ourselves. We work this hard to look good because we experience our human needs, limits and failures with deep shame - a shame that drives us to strive harder and harder to look better and better. We sacrifice our serenity, our relationships, our sanity on the altar of perfectionism. We also sacrifice any possibility of getting the help we need by continuing to insist that "we can handle it."

God does not ask such sacrifices from us. God has no need for us to be perfect. Jesus speaks to us gently but very clearly about this issue. He confronts our pretense, shame and perfectionistic striving. He says in effect "you do not have to sacrifice yourself in this way. You do not have to drive yourself like this. I desire mercy, not sacrifice. I want you to learn to be mercy-full to yourself. Be compassionate with yourself. It will free you to accept your need of healing. It will allow you to acknowledge your longing for me."

Jesus was saying "I did not come to pass out blue ribbons to the people who have all the answers and have worked hard to prove themselves. I came to bring hope and healing to people who know they need help."

We can stop shaming and condemning ourselves because God does not shame or condemn us. God knows our brokenness, our pain, our need. We can give up our attempts to prove ourselves and acknowledge our need for help and healing.

Our next symptom of unhealthy spirituality is:

8.   Covering over brokenness, weakness and failure - 

Here is an example of someone who is hiding.. someone who wears a mask….    MIKE - READ THE MASK.. (listen to the audio for The Mask)

Biblical Examples:

King David:  Psalm 51:17 "the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise".  The apostle Paul: 2 Cor 12:7-10 "His power is made perfect in weakness" "His grace is sufficient".   And here are a few other Biblical heroes:  Moses- murderer, Hosea's wife - prostitute, Peter rebuked Jesus, Noah - drunk, Jonah - racist, Jeremiah - depressed and suicidal, Thomas - doubter, Moses - anger/had a temper, Timothy - sick/ ulcers/ worrier perhaps?    So... what's the message?   All human beings regardless of their personality, gifting, and strengths have areas of weakness..  We all need God.. we all need one another!   We are all deeply flawed and broken.. hiding it does nothing but keep us trapped and unhealthy spiritually!  "we are as sick as our secrets" - hiding keeps us sick!

MIKE SMITH –9.   Living without limits - when we consider this one.. we have to think about having the lack of boundaries, we are codependents oftentimes or we are enablers or enmeshed with others.  Sadly... most believers believe it is selfish to take care of themselves.   There is a HUGE difference between being selfish and practicing self-care.

Parker Palmer said "self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the gift you have" -- the gift of life you have been given by God -- the gift of your body - let's talk about that for a minute -- I think this is where many Christians fail miserably whether that is a lack of exercise, eating properly, rest, or simply having fun and recreation.

 1 Corinthians 6:19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;" We are expected to take care of the gift God has given us.  

10.  Judging other people’s spiritual journey - Sadly, we often turn our differences into moral superiority or virtues.  We judge people for their music (too soft or loud), length of their hair, tattoos or no tattoos, piercings, what they wear, the cars they drive or work they do...  we create never-ending groups to lump people together and then pre-judge them - that's prejudice.   

Examples:

- artists and musicians are flaky                                                    

- engineers are cerebral and cold                                            

- men are idiots and socially infantile                                      

- women are too emotional and overly sensitive                       

- the poor are lazy or the rich are self-indulgent

I have to say something about the gender issue here...  How about we all stop lumping and coming up with generalities for men and women and start focusing on our individual uniqueness.    We are all different.   And some of what I see and generalizations made for males and females have more to do with personality types than gender!   Stereo typing only creates more harm and confusion.  (example - clients I have seen who feel like there is something wrong with them because they relate more to the 'male' generalizations or the 'female'.   I have actually had couples say.. well, we're kind of weird - I am more the man in the marriage and he's more the female - what!?) This needs to change!

Matthew 7:1-5 --   let's work on getting the 'blank/log out of our own eye

There are several different types of Christ followers in our churches… those who are ‘done its’, ‘doing its’, ‘don’t need its’…  The ‘done its' feel that they have gotten to a certain point in their healing and growth and are satisfied.. perhaps they are at a place where it’s comfortable.. the pain and discomfort may be there but it is tolerable/manageable.. they are settling for where they are and not pursuing going any further.. perhaps that is ignorance or the deception of the enemy that has allowed them to buy into the lie that there just isn’t any more?   The ‘don’t need its’ are those that are in denial.. they are stuck and don’t even know it…And then there are those of us (most in this room I’d say) that are the ‘doing its’…  we are doing it.. pursuing more in God.. pursuing freedom, the abundant life – which really isn’t about comfort at all.. it’s about learning how to surrender and lean into God no matter where we are or what we are going through and in that leaning… we find peace, safety.  We can do this because we get to a place of spiritual health.. one of the manifestations of spiritual health is trust!

So.. how do people end up in one of the other camps/ groups?  Well…  is could be because of a lack of information.. and that lack of information comes from poor discipleship.  Most of us and others who are being discipled/ mentored spiritually learn to do the following:

§        Attend church each week for worship, the Word and be sure to participate in communion when it is offered

§        Have a quiet time/ devotions – preferably at the start of every day

§        Get in a small group, bible study, Sunday school class so you can have fellowship, study Scripture

§        Trust God by giving your tithes and offerings

§        Let Christ direct how you behave at work, home, school and all other relationships

§        Discover and use spiritual gifts – serve in the church

§        Evangelize – share Jesus/ invite others to church

§        Attend retreats, conferences, read books and listen to talks on cd/ your ipod

All of these are great steps to begin the journey with Christ yet, they are simply not enough – spiritual disciplines are good but they are not enough! 

So.. what is needed? – Emotional Health and what Pastor Peter S, author of ‘Emotionally Healthy Spirituality’ calls contemplative spirituality.  We will dig into this more deeply later and I will be deviating from some of what is taught in this particular book.  This is where I believe I mentioned in one of our earlier classes that most of our churches have ‘missed the mark’ – we have gotten far too far at one end of the spectrum in knowing more ‘about’ God rather than having ‘encounters with God’/ deeply connecting with him/ having times of deep prayer that includes listening and sensing His presence.  Step 11 in the 12 Steps is ‘sought through prayer and mediation to increase my conscious contact with God’.. it is this step with some added dynamics.  Again.. there will be more on this later..

GROUP WORK - HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY - LESSON 4

IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM – Part 3

BEGINNING TO BRING TRANSFORMATION TO THE DEEP PLACES

1.      Share your experiences in wearing masks and covering over your brokenness.

2.      In what area or your life do you have the most difficulty in setting limits and boundaries?

3.      What are some of the prejudices you have had in the past or currently?

4.      Discuss your discipleship experience.  Did it include any facet of emotional/ mental healing?  

HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY - LESSON 3

IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM - Part 2

Thank you for continuing with our lessons on Healthy Spirituality.  If you stick with it, you will find life transformation.  Please check back and listen to the audio version where you will get greater explanation of the notes below (they are uploaded typically 1 week after the actual lesson is taught)

REVIEW THE 10 SYMPTOMS OF UNHEALTHY SPIRITUALITY - Following are #2-7

SYMPTOMS OF UNHEALTHY SPIRITUALITY:

2.   Ignoring Emotions - we discussed this a bit last week... as believers we have often been taught to ignore our feelings especially the ones we deem 'bad' - anger, fear, sadness.  Our emotions are a gift from God and yet we have been taught to ignore, suppress, dismiss them and told that is Biblical - using passages such as Jer 17:9  “⁹ The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” , and demands God places on us in Phil 4:6 “⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”, and Is 41:10.. ^“10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
 I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

 What is the proper interpretation of God's word as it relates to fear?  For a very long time early in my walk with the Lord, I thought the 'do not fear' passages were being spoken from God like a 'command' -- now don't you be afraid!  It was like a mandate so if I was afraid, I always felt I was in sin or disappointing God.  What I have discovered through my study of various texts and going back to the original language is - it is not that way at all!  An picture of what God is saying to us is like .. a small child waking up in the middle of the night from a nightmare or a storm.. when the parent/ we go in to their room after they are crying for us, do we yell at them and tell them not to be afraid/ demand/ command it?  Of course not.. what do we say?  It's going to be ok.. don't be afraid, I'm right here.. that is how God is speaking to us.  Big difference isn't it?

And what about anger?  Many are taught that anger is sin... but it is not - 'be angry, sin not'... and... any time we are angry and open up about it.. what is the response we get oftentimes?  "Now _____ you know that God is in control." "Anger doesn’t produce the righteousness of God"… "You need to just forgive"…"Jesus was lied to and cheated as well, so stop the anger, it is pointless.... you must forgive so let it go, move on."

Peter Scazzero says, "To feel is human.  To minimize or deny what we feel is a distortion of what it means to be image bearers of our personal God. To the degree that we are unable to express our emotions, we remain impaired in our ability to love god, others, and ourselves well.” 

3.   Dying to the wrong things - I have talked about this several times in the past - Luke 9:23 says we are to deny ourselves and take up our cross daily and follow Christ.  Many have interpreted this passage inaccurately.  The message they received is that 'we'/ 'they' must cease to exist - all of who I am is annihilated.  The apostle Paul said "I die daily".. Again, what does the proper interpretation of these passages mean? 

We must die to the sinful parts of who we are - we must die to our defensiveness, arrogance, stubbornness, character defects (we discuss this quite often in Celebrate Recovery and the 12 Steps).. what else?  we must die to our hypocrisy, our self-protective devices, our judgmentalism..and of course the obvious lists:  Exodus 20:13-16 & Eph 4:25 murder, lying, stealing, etc.  We are not called to die to the good parts of who we are... God made us unique/ special with our own God-given bents and personality.  

Are we called to die to our dreams, wishes, hopes and desires?  Sometimes... but what exactly does that mean and when would God call me to do so? - only when they compete with our affection for Him!  Anything can become an idol in our lives even our goals and dreams!  However, what we are talking about here is... we need to realize that those things oftentimes line up with passions God has put in us - not something we have conjured up on our own.  So.. he wants us to enjoy them.. there is healthiness in this!

4.   Denying the past’s impact on our lives - We touched on this last week and we will spend some extended time on this in a later lesson but the point to remember here is that many will use Scripture to condemn you or challenge you about dealing with your past.. For example 'the old has gone, the new has come' 2 Cor 5:17

There is a slogan I continue to hear that goes something like this: stop looking in the rear view mirror while going forward.. it's hazardous to your future... I get what they mean but the truth is:  while driving .. we have to use our rear view mirror and our side mirrors because there are blind spots - the same is true of our lives.. we have to look back in order to go forward in health... we have to use our mirrors while driving in order to find safety as we drive forward to our destination.

The process of sanctification/ growing into health and maturity in 'all the parts' is going to require/ demand we go back in order to break free from unhealthy patterns and false beliefs that prevent us from loving ourselves, God and others.

5.   Dividing our lives into ‘secular’ and ‘sacred’ compartments - We all have the ability to compartmentalize our lives.  Examples - we all know some well known public Christian figures that were an amazing influence on thousands of lives by their preaching and yet, they were living a double life full of sexual sin, etc... I recommend Beth Moore's book "When Godly People do Ungodly Things" There are other reasons... but this is definitely one that enables that to happen. We all have the uncanny ability to compartmentalize - we do our 'Christian activities' around church and all our spiritual disciplines without including God in our marriage... or in our jobs... or in our parenting... or in our friendships.... in our lifestyles...  The statistics are devastating that support this:

• church members divorce their spouses as often as their secular neighbors
• ..beat their wives as often as their neighbors
• ..their giving patterns indicate they are almost as materialistic as the rest of the world
• white evangelicals are the most likely people to object to neighbors of another race
• of the higher-commitment evangelicals, 26% think premarital sex is acceptable, while 46% of lower-commitment evangelicals believe it to be okay 

Good book on this topic that I read several years ago is "The Scandal of the Evangelical Conscience" - the consequences of this on our witness for Christ is staggering -- people look at us and continue to cry 'hypocrite'... not only that.. but.. we are missing out on the genuine joy we could have in Christ by living compartment-ally....  a fulfilling, joy-filled life (John 15:11 ¹¹I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.)  

It's all about Lordship folks!   We come to saving faith in Christ.... and many stop right there.. the journey is about surrendering all the areas of our lives...  one area at a time or several at a time.. but we must surrender to His Lordship.  This is what it means to be a fully devoted follower of Jesus Christ.

6.   Doing for God instead of ‘being’ with God - Praying and enjoying God's presence for no other reason than to delight in Him is where we need to be.  And yet, so many get the message of 'service/ serving' that is above and beyond that of relationship building.  The message we get is:

• doing more for God is a sign of spiritual maturity
• it's all up to you...and you'll never finish while you're alive on this earth..so get busy and stay busy
• God can't move unless you pray
• you are responsible to share Christ around you at all times
• you must persevere and hold things together or they'll fall apart                        

None of these things are necessarily wrong but... they must properly flow from a life WITH God - we cannot give away what we do not possess.   Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God”..  Not in the hereafter but now, are you ‘seeing God’.. the only way is through that intimate connecting with Him.

7.   Spiritualizing away conflict - This is a big one in the church... there is a lot of 'sweeping things under the rug' going on.  Let's face it... we ALL hate conflict but.. ignoring it is not God's way... ignoring it only creates more pain, confusion and yes, CONFLICT - even if it is all internalized.  This is the reason I believe most church splits happen, the break up of small groups, ministries, even some marriages.  So.. how do people generally deal with conflict in unhealthy ways:

• say one thing to the person's face and another behind their back (gossip / slander)
• make promises or say 'yes' to things they have no intention of keeping
• blame
• attack
• give the silent treatment
• use sarcasm
• give in because we don't want to be rejected or disliked
• 'leak' your anger through triangulation (explain) or using e-mail or text that uses criticism
• tell only half truths - we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings
• avoid/ withdraw/ cut off

Jesus did not avoid conflict.  He is the perfect model for us.  "Out of a desire to bring true peace, Jesus disrupted the false peace all around Him.  He refused to 'spiritualize away" conflict."