Open Up!
This week we are going to
start opening ourselves up to the next step on our journey toward abundant
living. We need to consciously prepare
for this next step because it is not an easy one, at least not initially. In the coming weeks we will be taking a
detailed look at how we ended up where we are today. Sometimes it is called taking an inventory of
our lives, but it is simply the act of reviewing where we have been, what we
have done, what has been done to us and the impact of those events.
This is an important step
in our journey. It is an important step
in any process of change and creation.
Thomas Edison is well known as a great inventor. But how successful would he have been if he
completely disregarded the steps that led up to the final product? If the product was successful, he would not
know how to duplicate it for future use or how to enhance it. If the product was not successful, he would
not have known what to change going forward.
The same principles apply
to our spiritual, emotional and physical health. If part of our life has become unmanageable,
we need to know how to avoid the same mistakes for the future. It is like a man that was walking to the
store while it was raining and dark.
There was a big puddle in the middle of the sidewalk that he did not
see, so he stepped in it and his foot was drenched. On the way back, he did the same thing. He had forgotten about the puddle, so he did
not change his path or even try to avoid it.
That’s not so different from us.
How many times have you done the same thing over and over again and
ended up with the same negative result?
Conversely, can you
duplicate the actions you have taken that have had positive results in your
life? If you are in good physical
health, what has contributed to that?
Are you taking steps to continue and enhance those activities? Spiritually and emotionally, are you aware of
what draws you closer to Christ’s presence and are you actively seeking more of
those activities and attitudes?
God gave us the gifts of
memory and of analysis. We have the
privilege of surveying our lives and determining what worked and what did not
work. Those are powerful tools that can be
used to build our future. Unfortunately,
many people don’t use it. They believe the
past is the past and best left there. It
is true that we cannot change the past and it is not beneficial to dwell on it,
but as John Baker says, ‘we need to understand it so we can begin to allow God
to change us.’
The sooner we begin, the
sooner we change. So let’s take the time
now to explore a few practical ways you can start opening yourself up to the
process of surveying your past.
Commitment
A few weeks ago we asked
ourselves if we were really ready to change and committed to it. This is where the rubber meets the road and
that commitment will be tested. You’ve
committed to changing in general. Are
you now willing to commit to this specific step in order to effect that
change?
James chapter 1 talks
about a man who looks in the mirror and forgets what he looks like: “Anyone who listens to the word but does not
do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after
looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the
perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what
he has heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does.” James 1:23-25
This is our opportunity to take a good look at ourselves and our lives
and commit to conforming to the perfect law of God. That might entail changing
our actions or changing our reactions to another’s actions. But ultimately it is a commitment to
following God’s way of living.
Making Time
A good first step in your
commitment is to consider when you will work on your inventory. In the coming weeks we will provide
suggestions on how complete the inventory, but you can start the process now by
setting aside time to consider this step.
In Job 33:33, God says, “Then listen to me. Keep silence, and I will teach you wisdom!” You can take a few minutes each day or a
block of time periodically throughout the week to pray to God to open your
heart or to jot down some ideas for inventory or to talk to God about your
concerns and apprehensions.
You can also start considering
the best way to complete the inventory.
Perhaps your schedule will allow a day or a weekend set aside
specifically for this step. Or you may
need to commit to an hour three times a week until you finish. Whatever works best for your schedule, start
planning and setting that time aside now.
If you find time slipping
away from you on a regular basis and can’t imagine making time for this, then make a point over the next week to record how
you spend your time each day. Make a
record of the 24 hours of each day and then look back and see where you can
adjust in order to complete your inventory.
It may mean giving up some of your leisure activities or temporarily
cutting back on volunteer opportunities.
You may have to make some difficult choices, but in the end it will be
worth it. A commitment to one area of
our life typically requires some adjustments in other areas. Take some quiet time to seek God’s direction
on how to spend your time. “Lord, remind
me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered
— how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the
width of my hand. My entire lifetime is
just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.” Psalm 39:4-5
Wake up your feelings!
It is time to plunge into
the depths of our feelings. We are all
at different points in our journey and it is important for each of us to
determine what we tend to do with our feelings.
Emotions have been described as ‘an intense mental state that arises
subjectively rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanied by
physiological changes; a strong feeling: the emotions of joy, sorrow,
reverence, hate, and love.’ There are two
dimensions to our emotions. The first is
intensity, which is the severity – a little or a big emotion. The second is qualitative: is it a pleasant or unpleasant emotion. There are two ends to the emotional spectrum
and we need to move into the middle to effectively complete our inventory.
One end of the spectrum is
numbness. When is the last time you felt
an intense rush of emotion? Consider the
last week and name as many emotions as you can remember feeling. Some of us have run from pain for so long
that we cannot identify emotions: happy,
sad, excitement, disappointment, frustration, disgust, afraid, surprise,
apprehensive, relief, grateful, anxious, hopeful, offended, optimistic and on
and on and on. Look up ‘list of
emotions’ on the internet and browse the websites that list a plethora of emotions
we can experience. Peruse the list and
try to remember the last time you felt them.
If you can remember only a few emotions, you may be stuffing your
feelings and it is time to bring them to the surface.
Remember that emotions in
and of themselves are not good or bad.
They are signals to what is going on inside of us. As we take an honest look at ourselves and
our past, our emotions will often point us to the underlying cause of our current
state. Take the next week to simply
allow yourself to feel. Do not judge
whether the feeling is good or bad. Do
not try to figure out why you feel what you feel. Just feel!
On the other hand, some of
us are engaged in constant intense emotion, usually negative. Are you a ‘Debbie downer’ – continually pessimistic
or critical or angry? Writing your
inventory will help to reveal why you cannot break that pattern of
negativity. But in the meantime, make a
conscious point of countering those negative emotions. Change pessimism to gratefulness. When you are pessimistic, find one thing to
be thankful for. Change criticism to
praise. If you are critical toward
people, find something positive they have done and praise them for it. Find a constructive way to express your
anger. When you are angry, talk a walk, write about the situation, talk to a
friend, punch a punching bag or yell out to God. Acknowledge your anger, but express it in a
way that allows it to dissipate into peace.
If our feelings are
extreme, they will color our inventory with the shade of our feelings. To
honestly look at our past, we need to objectively evaluate the situation and
its impact. We need to consider how we
felt about the event, but not let our current feelings define the event. If you struggle with an intense negative emotion,
you may need to slowly peel off the layers of feelings until you get to the
core. For example, anger is often
considered a secondary emotion. The pain
of rejection or abandonment can easily led to feelings of intense anger. As uncomfortable as it is, anger is more
bearable than rejection or abandonment.
During the inventory process, your challenge will be to dig beneath the
intense emotion to the primary feeling and the cause of it.
You Can Do This!
If you struggle with
keeping a positive attitude, this is the time to fight against that tendency
with all your might! This step can be a
challenge, but it will be one of the most rewarding accomplishments of your
life. Have you encountered tasks or
projects that seemed overwhelming, but became manageable as you worked through
them step by step? This is one of those
tasks. Don’t project yourself into the
middle of the task. Concentrate only on preparing
to write the first event of your inventory.
You can do that. You can write
one event. Once you get started, the
rest will roll off your pen.
Keep in mind that your
inventory will be balanced. You will
record the positive in addition to the negative. Perhaps you need to start with a positive
event. Or consider alternating between
the two. Make the process manageable for
you. There is no right or
wrong…completion is the goal. How we
each complete it is secondary to completion.
Here are a few verses that
may be helpful to you as you open yourself to this step.
Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me
strength.
2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is
able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times,
having all that you need you will abound in every good work
Galatians 6:9 Let us not
become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we
do not give up.
2 Corinthians 8:15 Now finish
the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your
completion of it…
As much as we may like to
forget some events in our lives, the greater privilege is to learn from those
experiences and grow in character.
Proverbs 20:27 says that “the Lord gave us mind and conscience; we
cannot hide from ourselves.” Take the
time this week to open up your heart to this next step on your journey to
abundant living!
Group Work
- Share the logistics for completing your inventory. For example, what days/times will you be able to do your inventory? What quiet place can you go to? How will you manage interruptions?
- What is your biggest apprehension when you think about starting your inventory?
- What is your biggest obstacle to overcome in completing your inventory? Self discipline, procrastination, time constraints, fear, etc.
- Where are you on the feelings scale – numb or constantly in a hyperactive emotion? If you are numb – why do you think you have blocked feelings and what can you do to start feeling again? If you are constantly feeling negative, why is that and what can you do to temper the negativity?
