FRUITFUL LIVING – LOVE – Part 2
**Be sure to listen to the audio – valuable illustrations, discussions, comments are not in the written notes.
Last week we started learning about the first fruit – Love – we learned there are 3 types of love: Eros, Phileo & Agape… We focused on agape and went through 1 Corinthians 13. Tonight we will be investigating eros and phileo together…
Eros is the Greek word for romantic love – The word actually means: longing and desire. Eros is a selfish love, it asks ‘what can I get for myself?’. This is why it has been associated with sexual love. Unless sexual love is redeemed by the presence of God, it becomes possessive. It seeks to conquer and control. Human sexuality can be a destructive force, but such was never God’s intention. For further study read Song of Solomon or… attend our seminar in January on Healthy Sexuality (2nd Sat of the month).
Healthy marriages do not exist absent of physical affection. Eros is an integral part of marriage. If yours is missing this element – take heart – God can change it! Begin to pray – God can change your heart and give you healthy desires toward your mate. Sometimes agape comes before eros or phileo comes before eros…
Our Story…(Mike & I - listen to audio).
The next type of love is ‘phileo’.. “the love one has toward a friend or companion”. 1 Peter 3:8 says “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.
When one has phileo love for another, they place that person in a high personal position. We hold them in high esteem. This love is also characterized by shared experience or shared interests that bring you both joy. Let’s discuss the different levels or types of friendships we may have… There is the outer circle (acquaintances) , middle (common interests/ some sharing/ Body of Christ – like extended family members) and inner circle (deep, intimate) – very few people of these inner circle relationships these days and if they do, there are less than a hand full in that inner circle. These are the friends that know your likes and dislikes, your idiosyncrasies, attitudes about certain things, your basic nature, your strengths and weaknesses, there is open sharing that is 2-way, there is intimacy on many levels – emotional, intellectual and spiritual oftentimes.
These relationships (middle & inner circle) are like family – God calls us “to love like a sister/ brother”. 1 Peter 3:8 “ 8 Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.
As we consider loving well.. we have to deal with the uncomfortable topic of ‘risk’. When we love – eros, phileo, agape – we risk being hurt – we risk betrayal. These fears should never keep us from cultivating these relationships but oftentimes they do.
Getting beyond betrayal & rejection
1. weigh out the risks (positives & negatives) brainstorm examples: neg: emotional pain, embarrassed, disappointment, shame, feel stupid positive: dispel loneliness, rewarding, fulfilling, happiness, joy, act of obedience, healing
2. forgiveness
3. consider the source
4. look to God first – let Him guide you to relationships rather than you ‘choosing’
5. Seek His Divine healing & Strength
Ps 27:10
10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.
Rom 11:15 For if their rejection brought reconciliation to the world, what will their acceptance be but life from the dead? 1Peter 2:4-10 As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to him— 5 you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house[a] to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 6 For in Scripture it says:
“See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him
will never be put to shame.”[b] 7 Now to you who believe, this stone is precious. But to those who do not believe, “The stone the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone,”[c]
will never be put to shame.”[b] 7 Now to you who believe, this stone is precious. But to those who do not believe, “The stone the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone,”[c]
8 and, “A stone that causes people to stumble
and a rock that makes them fall.”[d]
and a rock that makes them fall.”[d]
They stumble because they disobey the message—which is also what they were destined for.
9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
GROUP WORK
1. What does the role of ‘chemistry’ play in romantic love?
2. Discuss the differences in the ‘circles’ of relationship. What are some characteristics you look for or see in the friendships you have in the inner circle?
3. The times you experienced rejection or betrayal, what were ways you dealt with it – positive & negative?
4. Are you still practicing self-protection? What have you heard tonight that will help you put those walls down and begin to pursue relationship?
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