Telling Yourself the
Truth #7 & 8
You
reap what you sow
“Who is
man’s chief enemy? Each man is his
own.” Anacharsis
You reap
what you sow is a principal that you can’t violate. Although at times, it does seem that we ‘get
away’ with certain behaviors. Like the
last time you saw a police car by the side of the road and slowed down, hoping
the officer wouldn’t pull you over for speeding – and he didn’t. Maybe you didn’t receive the negative
consequence of a speeding ticket, but that instance still had
consequences. Everything we do leaves
its impression on character. Perhaps you
made a ‘small adjustment’ to the charitable contributions on your taxes. You weren’t questioned by the IRS, but your
conscience was hardened a little that day by not being truthful on your return. God warns us in 1 Timothy 1:19 to “hold on to faith and a good conscience,
which some have rejected and so have suffered shipwreck with regard to faith.”
Each day,
the small choices we make and the actions we take all have a part in shaping
our character. Often, a good person is
brought down not by a major event, but by small changes taking place over a
period of time. The next thing you know,
you are doing things you would not have dreamed of doing five years ago. That one big meal you ate last week did not
add 30 pounds to your frame, but perhaps you can remember the time when you
decided a little desert would not hurt.
And that little desert turned into a regular meal-time treat that, a
year later, added up to more than a few pounds.
Just like a person doesn’t become an alcoholic overnight. It is through a long-term series of choices to
drink that the alcoholic becomes controlled rather than the controller. It is for good reason that, in Proverbs 3:21-23, God warns
us to be careful about our choices: “My son, preserve sound judgment and
discernment, do let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an
ornament to grace your neck. Then you
will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble.”
I think
it’s important to note that the reaping and sowing principal is not about karma. Many eastern religions embrace the concept of
karma, which says that good
will come to you if you do good and evil will come to you if you do evil.
The modern New Age movement and many of its spokespeople today are advocates of
the principal of karma. They claim that
you can control your life and what happens to you by thinking good thoughts and
‘willing’ prosperity into your life.
They teach people that if they act and think good enough, they will
receive good things. And that if they
are not receiving good things, they must be doing something wrong. God clearly states this not to be the case. There is evil in this world and it will be
present in our lives in some form simply by the fact that we live in a world
dominated by Satan. The Old Testament book
of Job testifies to that. And Jeremiah 12:1b asks, ‘Why does the
way of the wicked prosper? Why do all
the faithless live at ease?”
The answer
to that question is, in part, that the motivation for the Godly to do good is because
it is God’s will. Psalm 34:14 says “Turn from evil and
do good; seek peace and pursue it.”
We are to act kindly regardless of how that act is received or what we
receive in return. One problem with
karma is that the motivation behind doing good is to ensure that good will come
into your life. Although the words and
attitudes of the New Age advocates often claim goodness for its own sake, when
you dig a little deeper, you will find that ultimately the goal is to receive
good in their own lives.
Another problem
with doing good as defined by the
New Age movement is that good is determined by each individual. There is no standard by which to define
good. That is the philosophy which has
given us sayings like ‘if it feels good, do it.’ It is a chaotic and dangerous world where
each person has their own definition of good and bad. But God says that He alone is good, so He
alone can define that which is good. Psalm 14:1 says, “The fool says in
his heart, ‘There is no God.’ They are corrupt, their deeds are vile; there is
no one who does good.” Those who want to
make their own rules are saying ‘there is no God.’ Their goal is to life live according to their
own rules, thereby making themselves God.
Nature Abhors a Vacuum
Have you
heard the expression ‘nature abhors a vacuum’?
If you have identified a behavior or attitude that you would like to
change, remember that you need to replace the negative behaviors or attitudes with
positive ones. For example, if you want
to stop watching tv, decide ahead of time what you will do instead. You could read or exercise or call friends or
play solitaire. If you don’t have a plan
ahead of time, something will fill that time – and it may not be the positive activities
that you would like. The same applies
with our attitudes and thoughts. If you
are determined to replace negative thinking, plan ahead of time what you could
think about in its place. You could have
scripture verses handy to read and memorize or you could call a friend and
engage your mind in conversation rather than in negativity or self-pity.
The key is
persistence and consistency. A seed doesn’t grow into a plant
overnight. It takes time and
effort and care. As stated earlier, you
may not have seen the negative consequences of your actions until a much later
date. The same is true of the positive
changes you are making. It could be that
the problems you are facing now are not the result of your circumstances or
some monumental event. They could be the
result of lifestyle choices over a significant period of time. But it is possible to turn it around. You may not see the benefits of the changes
at first. Hang in there – one day you
will look back and be able to see how much you’ve changed!
Remember
that the best way to determine what you will be like in ten years is to examine
what you are thinking and doing now. If
you continue to believe in and think upon lies, in ten years your life could be
a chaotic mess. But the good news is
that the reverse is true: if you start
believing in the truth now, in ten years, you will reap the spiritual,
emotional, mental and physical harvest of the abundance of God’s blessings!!
“Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to
them, so that everyone may see your progress.”
1 Timothy 4:15
You
are not entitled to anything
Think
about that – you are not entitled to anything. My guess is that initially you agree with
that statement. But if you dig a little
deeper, you will find some things you believe you are entitled to having. Our culture definitely promotes an
entitlement attitude with ads aimed at telling us the good things we ‘deserve’
to buy. You have probably heard some of
the following sentiments, or ones similar to them:
“I’ve done so much for her, she owes me.”
“I’ve
been working here for 25 years – they should show me a little respect.”
“I
deserve good service from that waitress.”
“This has been such a
bad day, I deserve that chocolate cake.”
“I took
care of you all your life, son, now it’s your turn to take care of me.”
“I opened
the door for them. The least they could
have done was say ‘thank you.’”
Our
country was even founded on the premise that we are all entitled to ‘life,
liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’ I
believe that is an honorable premise and I am proud to live in a country trying
to make that possible. But even so, it
is not our inherent right as humans. To
the contrary, all we have is a gift from God.
“The Lord gave and the
Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 1:21b. As much as I’d like to think I am entitled to
fresh drinking water and daily food and even the air I breathe, the fact
remains that I am not.
Demanding Versus Desiring
What I can
do is desire, or want, those things. But
there is a big difference between wanting something and believing we are
entitled to it. And that difference can greatly
impact our attitude toward life and others.
Let’s take an example: assume
that I am the perfect wife and I meet all my husband’s needs, but in two
different scenarios. The first scenario
is that I believe I am entitled to my husband’s reciprocation. I think
my husband owes me for my good efforts – that he must shower me with
love and respect because that’s what I am giving him. If he doesn’t do so, I am going to develop
resentment and a negative attitude toward him, believing he is not fulfilling
his end of the bargain. Even if he does
shower me with kindness, I am not going to appreciate his love and care because
I think it is rightfully mine in the first place.
For the
second scenario, I am still the perfect wife, but I do not feel entitled to
reciprocation by my husband. I do,
however, want it. If my husband responds
in loving kindness, I am grateful and appreciative, understanding that he does
not have to do so, but is choosing to.
If he does not respond in kindness, I may be hurt and disappointed, but
I am not angry or bitter because I understand I am not entitled to his acting
kindly toward me.
In the first
scenario, entitlement leads to
resentment, bitterness and lack of appreciation. In fact, the best that comes out of that
scenario is that I don’t appreciate what my husband does for me. As we have discussed in other lessons,
bitterness, unforgiveness and resentment are emotional toxins to our souls and
bodies. The belief of entitlement breeds
those toxins and impacts every area of our lives.
In the
second scenario, however, desire
instead of entitlement leads to selflessness, understanding and appreciation of
all I receive. I may experience hurt
and disappointment. Those are painful
emotions and can be difficult to work through, but we can carry them. But if you want a sure formula for misery, a
feeling of entitlement is it!
It’s all about me!
Another
aspect of entitlement to consider is how it leads down a one-way path of ‘me’ –
of what I am owed and deserve. We may be
kind to others, but it is not out of love and care. It is so that we receive something in
return. It may be love or respect or a
little help around the house, but the bottom line is that we are striving to
get what we want. It does not leave room
for consideration of others and their well-being. It feeds and is fueled by our selfish
nature. But God counsels us otherwise in
Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing
out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better
than yourselves. Each of you should look
not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Simply ask for it
At a
practical level, feeling entitled to something is not the best approach for
receiving it. Most people have a sense
when you are demanding a certain response from them. Our human nature is such that we tend to
rebel and not give them the expected response.
If fact, the person could become bitter and resentful of your
manipulation of circumstances. So,
ultimately, the best chance to get what you want is simply to ask the other
person for what you desire. It takes
some courage to be honest and vulnerable and ask for what you want. And you need to be prepared for whatever
their response may be. You may end up
being disappointed and hurt. But there
is also the chance that you will experience the joy of someone providing for
your needs simply because they love you!
That is the joy of the Lord.
Here’s an
exercise that will help you start to identify and turn from feelings of
entitlement. Whenever you start to feel
angry or irritated because you did not get what you believe you deserve, write
or say to yourself “I am not entitled to X, but it is OK to want it.” For example, “I am not entitled to good
service in this restaurant, but it is OK to want it.” Or “I am not entitled to a good-paying job,
but it is fine to want it.” This simple
process of exploring your feelings on entitlement and proclaiming the truth can
start you on the road to a life of gratefulness and appreciation.
In
closing, consider this sentiment by George Bernard Shaw: This is the
true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a
mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap
heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of
ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to
making you happy.”
The
question to answer is this: which would
you rather be?!?
Questions
1. What is a positive action you have
taken which has reaped positive benefits? Or what is a negative action you have
taken which has reaped negative benefits?
2. What are you sowing today and what
can you expect to reap from it?
3. Share a behavior you would like to
change. What can you replace that
behavior with (i.e., going for a walk instead of watching t.v.)?
4. What have you felt entitled to?
5. Can you identify a time when your
sense of entitlement produced a harvest of bitterness and unforgiveness or in
some other way negatively impacted a relationship?
6. Do you have a hard time asking for
what you want? Is there something you
would like from someone now but are hesitant to ask for it?
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