Ready
Over the past few months,
you have done a lot of work. You admitted
the mistakes and sins in your life. You
made an inventory of these difficult areas and turned from them. You confessed your sins to God and someone
you trust. Now you are ready – ready for
God to come into your life more powerfully than ever before and start making
some significant changes. You are ready
for God to remove your character defects.
This is the next principle we will explore: Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in your life and
humbly ask God to remove your character defects.
In the coming weeks we
will explore how to allow God to make these changes. But today, we’ll explore our hearts to see if
we ready for this next step. Start by
asking yourself, ‘Am I
entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character?’ Make note of your initial response and take
some time to explore why you reacted that way.
The following discussion may help you pinpoint why your response was
negative (or positive).
Control Freak
Do you have a hard time
giving up control? Here are three
different kinds of controllers:
Overt - Some people clearly seek
control and overtly show it by being bossy or overly aggressive.
Covert - Others don’t appear to
seek control, but a closer look at their actions reveal otherwise. They may be passive aggressive or
manipulative – appearing compliant until you realize that you just did
everything they wanted to do and nothing you wanted to do!
Concealed – Others have habits or
characteristics that may simply seem annoying, but are actually attempts to
control you, whether they realize it or not.
An example is someone who is chronically late, especially if they know
everyone will wait for them.
We all struggle with
control to some extent. It started in
the garden when Adam and Eve decided to disobey God and do life their own
way. Free will is at the heart of our
relationship with God. The free will God
grants us allowed Adam and Eve to make their choice. And he allows you to do the same. Since God won’t force His way upon you and
because it is in our fleshly nature to go our own way, the psalmist provides a
wise prayer for each of us to present before God: Help me to do your will, for you are my God. Lead me in good paths, for your Spirit is
good. (Psalm 143:10)
Perceived Benefits
If you are still wrapped
up in your will, you cannot expect any change.
My mother was a worrier – about everything. It was inconvenient and often trying on those
around her. She once said, ‘I am a
worrier. I always have been and I don’t
think that will change at my age.’ And
it didn’t. She was a worrier right up
until her death. Some of us are like her
– we deny our behavior stems
from a character defect. We don’t
want to change. Most of the time, we are
receiving some perceived benefit. I
don’t know this for sure, but I think it was less painful for my mother to
worry about some inconsequential event than to face some of the deeper issues
in her life. Similar to busyness,
worrying can be a distraction from the more important things happening in and
around us. Focusing on the lesser pain
in our lives dulls the impact of the greater pain. The problem with this strategy is that more
pain is created in the long run because the root cause of the pain is never
addressed and it lingers, sometimes until death.
Sometimes we admit our character defect but
don’t allow God to change it. Once
again, a perceived benefit is involved. Perhaps
you are hanging onto the fear of the unknown.
You can’t imagine your life situation without your current behavior, so
you hesitate to change, fearing the result.
I was a co-dependent in
regards to my brother who was an alcoholic.
I struggled with letting go, in part, because I did not know what would
happen to him if I didn’t take care of his affairs. But I took the step and let go as I believed
God directed me. God calls us to
obedience. 1 Peter 1:13 says, Be obedient to God, and do not allow
your lives to be shaped by those desires you had when you were still ignorant. That verse tells us that we can clearly see
our character defects but choose to continue to be led by them.
It turns out that my
brother did not end up on the streets as I feared. The bottom line is that we don’t know what
will happen in the future. But God does
and he walks with us each step of the way.
He calls us to abundant life, not disaster. Proverbs 24:14 says, ‘Know also that wisdom is like honey for you: if you find it, there is a future hope for
you, and your hope will not be cut off.’
Allowing God to change your character defects is wisdom – and it leads
to life.
Humility
An unknown author has
given us this wonderful word picture of being willing: “Willingness is the key that goes into the lock and opens the door that
allows God to begin to remove your character defects.” But willingness is preceded by one thing –
humility. Are you in control of your
life or is God? Are you God or is Jesus
God?
James 4:10 says, Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you
up.”
It is possible to attain a new character – one approved by God, honored
by men and enjoyed in all its fullness. That new character begins today if you
are willing. It is one of the best
decisions you can make – because Godly character allows you to be who God
intends. And that is abundant life.
Exchange
You may recall the story
of Matthew 12:43-45, “When an
impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest
and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I
will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house
unoccupied, swept clean and put in order.
Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than
itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person
is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.”
We do not have to be a
part of that ‘wicked generation,’ but we may be if we do not follow the
principle God provides. This story is
not meant to scare you into good deeds, but to inform you of the reality of
life: if you do not replace a bad habit with a good habit, the
bad habit will return.
Bring to mind a habit or
behavior you would like to change.
Imagine it gone, but with no replacement. What would be the result? For example, if you would like to stop
smoking, imagine yourself right after dinner, when you always have a
cigarette. What will do you after dinner
during the time when you typically smoked?
Most likely you will be engaged in an intense internal battle regarding
whether or not to go to the store to buy cigarettes.
Now plan a replacement. Perhaps you will go for a walk. Now imagine yourself getting up from dinner
and heading right out the door to take a stroll down the street. You may still struggle with cravings, but you
will be actively combating them by doing something different and preoccupying
yourself with the walk you are taking.
Your transition from
character defects to character strengths will be greatly enhanced by
pre-planning. We have been engaged in
our negative behaviors for a long time, some of them for decades. They won’t change in the twinkle of an
eye. It will take patient, concerted
effort on your part. You won’t be
comfortable with the new behavior at first, but give yourself some time, and
the new behavior will become as natural as the character defect now feels.
God Values You
Last, but certainly not
least, remember that God loves and values you.
That’s why you are here. That’s
why you are working these principles. He
has directed you to them. So don’t let
self-doubt and low self-esteem pronounce you unworthy of change. Reject those lies! If they persist, talk to Jesus about
them. Trust them to your inner circle of
supporters. Read the scriptures and
listen for God’s voice. He wants nothing
more than for you to be closer to him.
And allowing him to remove your character defects will remove barriers
that are preventing a greater intimacy with him.
Remind yourself that not
only are you worthy in God’s sight of this change, but that you can do it – for
you are His precious child. “The person who has been born into
God’s family does not make a practice of sinning, because now God’s life is in
him; so he can’t keep on sinning, for this new life has been born into him and
controls him – he has been born again. 1
John 3:9 If that is hard for you
to believe, as it is for me at times, don’t disregard it. Commit along with me to read and re-read that
verse and to meditate upon it until it becomes a part of your heart. We’ll both be glad we did.
Group Work
- What were your initial thoughts when I asked: ‘Are you entirely ready to have God remove all of your character defects?’
- What areas have you given to God’s control and what areas are you still hanging onto?
- Is there a perceived benefit you receive from your character defect? If yes, state the benefit and then state a greater benefit you could receive from God if you allowed him to remove that defect.
- What positive things can you put into practice to replace the character defects?
- Do you believe God can change you and that you are worthy of this change?
No comments:
Post a Comment