Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Lies/ Teling Ourselves the Truth: Truth #5, #6



Telling Ourselves the Truth


Last week we learned that pain is good.. this week we will seek to embrace the truth that….

The Truth #5 & 6:   There is no gain without pain. And..
                 :   You don’t ‘have to’ do anything!

Truth #5 There is no gain without pain.

“One cannot get through life without pain.” ~Bernie Siegel

Hometown newspaper article

Review last week…
check engine light
Fire Alarm story (check back.. there will be a separate blog for this story - a portion is in the audio)

A.      There are no quick-fix solutions
B.      It takes some painful effort

ef·fort

1.
exertion of physical or mental power:
an earnest or strenuous attempt:
something done by exertion or hard work
the amount of exertion expended for a specified purpose

If we want anything to be easy, we have to work hard.
1.    If we want a quiz to be easy, we have to study hard.
2.    If we want a couple of hours on the tennis court to be easy, we have to train hard.
3.    If we want our marriages/ relationships to be easy, we have to work diligently on them and ourselves
4.    If we want life to be easy, we have to put our ALL into it, painfully so.



Truth #6:   You don’t ‘have to’ do anything!

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. ~George Bernard Shaw

WRITE IT DOWN!   A ‘have to’ attitude toward life makes you a bitter victim while a ‘choose to’ attitude makes you a healthy victor!

-         You always have a choice

Deuteronomy 30:19
This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live

-         The only way out is to see options & accept responsibility

Joshua 24:15
But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

Walking through an example:

Event – asked to _______ family event
“have to”?
Response
New self-talk: don’t have to say ‘yes’
Peace


Evaluating our Thought Closet

Philippians 4:8

New International Version (NIV)
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
The Message (MSG)
 8-9Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. 

Remember the game ‘I spy’? 
This will be a fun way for you to remember to keep your thought closet full of the things that God wants you to dwell on..
I spy something true.  Example: I spy something true because I can embrace God’s promise to give me strength no matter how tired I am.
I spy something honorable..     
This exercise will help you become mindful of the things that are valued by God and…the Holy Spirit will enable you to see if you will ask..

I spy something right, pure, lovely, of good report, excellent…

If we will make an effort to do this with the leadership of the Spirit, we will be trading our destructive, self-defeating thoughts for His thoughts – the things that are worthy of being in our thought closet.

Telling Ourselves the Truth # 5 & 6
Group Work

Do the pain; get the gain! 

1.    Discuss quick-fix solutions you see that are prevalent in ‘the church’ today.  Your life?
2.    Share about a process of change you have been in and the effort it has taken to see growth & change.
3.    What is God’s response to our avoidance of pain?
4.    Discuss a scenario that most of us would interpret as a ‘have to’ and walk it through the exercise. 
5.    What is your hesitancy in embracing the ‘choose to’ attitude rather than the ‘have to’ attitude?
6.    What are the things that you dwell on the most in your thought closet?  Your needs, your body, your plans, insecurities, fears, pride, your future, family, your rights, your failures, needs, your past, your situation(s)?   Pray for each other that you will be able to apply and practice Phil 4:8 this week.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Lies.Truth&Trusting by Robbie


Truth and Trusting God

Before moving on to more truths that are essential to our spiritual, emotional and mental well-being, I’d like to pause and spend a few minutes reflecting on how we can embrace the truths we are learning.  It is one thing to ‘know’ the truth and it’s another thing to embrace it and act upon it.  I believe the former is infinitely easier than the latter.  So, how do we refute the lies and embrace the truth?  Ultimately, it is Jesus, who is Truth Himself, who gives us the ability to embrace truth.  But we can take a few practical steps in the right direction as well.  And it starts with asking yourself this question:  Am I trusting God – really?

Recent events in my life have shown me that I am not trusting God as much as I thought.  Persistent worries about what might happen, gnawing regrets of past choices, endless ‘task lists,’ constant planning and a prevalent sense of burden and discontent proves to me that I am not trusting every aspect of my life to God.  During a recent LifeCare Great Exchange weekend ‘seminar,’ I had the opportunity to symbolically put my heart at the foot of the cross.  My heart was represented by a paper heart torn into pieces by the world, my sin nature and circumstances.  I found I couldn’t do it.  I couldn’t give Jesus my heart, even though a whole, healthy heart was waiting at the foot of the cross for me to pick up in place of my own.

Why couldn’t I do it?  Plain and simple, I don’t really trust him in all areas of my life.  I still find myself trusting in lies rather than the truth.  I still find myself knowing but not embracing the truths we are learning.  My friend and mentor, Joann, has helped me see that I am trusting in something - but unfortunately it is not God.  It is worldly idols.  And they come in all shapes and sizes:  food, career, fame, leisure, physical image, t.v., people (children, spouses or movie stars), envy of perceived Hollywood lifestyles, things (bigger house, new car, latest clothing styles), and on and on it goes.

And we look to those idols to fill those empty holes:  loneliness, insignificance, rejection, need for approval, acceptance, love…you fill in the blank.  They don’t, of course, fill the need.  But it often seems there is no other place to turn, especially if you are going through a season when God’s presence in your life is not obvious to you.  And those things do satisfy the desire to ‘feel better for the moment.’  That’s why idols are so dangerous - they give the illusion of filling the need because they make us feel better for an instant.  But the need returns and we turn back to the food or the shopping or an ‘A’ on our exam for another ‘fix’.  Unfortunately, the ‘fixes’ never stop. 

So, sometimes we need to step back and look the idols directly in the face and say ‘Enough!’  Stop.  Step out of denial.  Look your need square in the face.  One need at a time; one idol at a time.  Then, when some of those idols are cleared out of the way, we can begin to move from merely knowing the truth to embracing it - because we’ve cleared the way so that God’s voice can speak to us. 

Back to the weekend….I realized that I couldn’t give my whole heart to God because I don’t believe he is trustworthy.  It is an overwhelming thought to give your whole self to someone you’re not 100% sure you can trust.  But I do know he is the only hope for filling those holes of need, so I want to trust him.  But how?  One step at a time.  As the truth comes to us bit by bit, piece by piece, so I can give him my heart to him one broken piece at a time, one idol at a time.  One obstacle at a time, as 1 Corinthians 10:5 (NLT) says, “We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.”

My friend, Joann, shared with me a tool for learning to trust God, and I want to share that with you.

A Practical Way to Trusting in God
While Joann was contemplating how to trust God, she went to the Random House Dictionary and found this definition of trust.
  1. unquestioning belief in the integrity, strength, or ability of a person or thing
  2. confident expectation
  3. a person or thing that can be relied upon
  4. the responsibility of a person in whom confidence or authority is placed
  5. charge or custody

I encourage you spend some time pondering the different aspects of trust in relation to God and to idols.  When you find yourself relying on the lies and worldly idols to soothe your pain and fill your needs, think about this:
    • Is this idol something I believe in without questioning its integrity, strength or ability?
    • Can I rely upon this idol?
    • What will happen if I give this idol the authority to handle this problem or need?
    • What will happen if I give this idol custody of my thoughts and feelings?

To go a little deeper, contemplate the following Random House Dictionary definitions in relation to the ‘idol lies’ that are so hard to demolish:

Idol
  1. an image, as a statue, worshipped as a deity
  2. any person or thing devotedly admired

Devoted
  1. zealous or ardent in attachment
  2. consecrated or dedicated

Do you really want to be zealously attached to a lie?  None of us do, but it is hard to ‘turn off’ a lifetime of coping mechanisms.  We can, however, move the mountain one stone at a time.  To start the dismantling process, ask yourself the questions outlined above each time a lie or an idol rears its ugly head. 

Let’s take an example: you are feeling lonely and craving a piece of cake to soothe the immediate pain.  Before taking that cake, ask yourself these questions:
  • Do I have an unquestionable belief that this piece of cake will make me feel less lonely?
  • Can I rely on this piece of cake to make me feel less lonely?
  • What will happen if I give this piece of cake the authority to help me?
  • What will happen if I give this piece of cake custody of my thoughts and feelings?

It seems silly, doesn’t it, to give a piece of cake custody of our thoughts and feelings?  But isn’t that what we do – rely upon it to make us feel better, feel less lonely? 

Perhaps another example will help:  you are feeling inadequate and want the approval of your boss to make you feel better about yourself.  Ask these questions:
  • Do I have an unquestionable belief that my boss’s thoughts of me will make me feel better about myself?
  • Can I rely upon my boss to make me feel significant?
  • What will happen if I give my boss the authority to help me feel competent?
  • What will happen if I give my boss custody of my thoughts and feelings?

In view of these questions, it no longer seems reasonable to hand over your feelings about yourself to your boss, friend or spouse.   That is giving them power over your feelings, your thoughts and your life. 

So, let’s turn to the One who can meet all our needs and ask those same questions in relation to Him:
  • Do I have an unquestionable belief that God will make me feel less lonely / better about myself?
  • Can I rely upon God to make me feel less lonely / significant / competent?
  • What will happen if I give God the authority to help me?
  • What will happen if I give God custody of my thoughts and feelings of insignificance?

One final definition:  custody means guardianship or care.  Re-read the last question.  What will happen if you give God guardianship and care of your thoughts and feelings?  Your response to that and any of the other questions will help illuminate where you are on your trust-journey.  Perhaps you don’t think things will change if you give God authority to help you.  Or you think things will get worse.  Start there.  Talk with him about it.  Explore the bible, seeking verses to support or refute your answer.  Talk to wise counsel.

Sometimes we are able to wholeheartedly place our trust in God, but more often than not, it is bit by bit, one piece of our heart at a time.  But I believe this is the type of sacrifice God desires, as stated in Romans 12:1-2a (The Message):  So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out.”

If we begin to apply this to each and every situation involving lies and idol worship, we will feel the joy and peace of God come into our lives – situation by situation.  Always remember, God is please with every effort you make toward right-thinking.  “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”  Jeremiah 31:3




Questions
  1. Imagine yourself giving the pieces of your heart to God.  How does that make you feel?
  2. Discuss what struck you the most on the definitions provided (trust, idol, devoted).
  3. Identify some of the idols and lies that you are currently battling.  Choose one idol and walk through the questions provided – first using the set of questions where the idol meets your need and then using the set of questions where God meets your needs.

LIES WE BELIEVE. TRUTH #1 & 2


Telling Ourselves the Truth

NOTE: The majority of the content is on the audio

The Truth:   To Err is Human
                 :  You Can’t Please Everyone

If at first you don’t succeed, you’re running about average. ~M. H. Alderson

~ Do you believe it? 

Truth #1 - To err is human.

negative self-talk

~ Mistakes and Anger go hand in hand

James 1:19-21

19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

~ How human is making mistakes?

“To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of your pencil, you’re overdoing it” ~Jerry Jenkins


Truth #2 – You can’t please everyone

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure – try to please everybody. ~Herbert Bayard Swope

Song -  Garden Party - 'can't please everyone, so you, got to please yourself'??

Galatians 1:10
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

~ Childhood & Approval

Approval Addiction vs. People Pleasing - there is a difference

The way out….  The cure

Steps 1 – 3 and… I can't. God can. I'll let Him.

Things that help in overcoming:
1.    List priorities – renewing love for God needs to be at the top
2.    Start nurturing a close, intimate relationship with those that have been negatively impacted by your approval addiction
3.    Reach out and develop new healthy friendships and mentors
4.    Make a commitment to balance your life better: work, rest, diet, exercise, spiritual development, fun!

The only way to get your life back is to risk not receiving the applause from others! 
Homework:  3 assignments

Telling Ourselves the Truth
Group Work

1.    To err is human.  Discuss your self-talk when you make a mistake.  What do you say?

2.    As we consider having the truth in our minds about mistakes, how does our self-talk change?  What do we say?

3.    Do you see any connection between your anger and/or depression as it relates to a lack of embracing this truth in particular?

4.     Where did your desire to please others come from?

5.    How much of what you do is about pleasing God – and how much is it about pleasing others?

6.    Go over homework assignments again for this week – which will be the hardest for you and why?

Friday, May 25, 2012

Lies We Believe - Truth about Truth by Robbie Sedgeman


The Truth about the Truth

Read the statements below, giving each a rating between 1 and 4.  If you strongly agree, rate the statement with a ‘1.’  If you strongly disagree, rate the statement with a ‘4.’  Read each statement quickly and rate it with your gut reaction, not with what you think the correct answer should be.
  1. To err is human.
  2. You can’t please everyone.
  3. You don’t “have to” do anything.
  4. You are going to die.
  5. The virtue lies in the struggle, not the prize.
  6. You are not entitled to anything.
  7. There is no gain without pain.
  8. Emotional pain is good.
  9. Life is difficult.
  10. You reap what you sow.

Over the past few months, we identified many different types of lies we believe:  self lies, worldly lies, relationship lies, distortion lies, religious lies and gender lies.  We saw that embracing those lies cam negatively impact our lives, stunting our spiritual, emotional and physical well-being.  But just as important as identifying the lies we believe is recognizing the truth.

Each of the ten statements above is a truth.  Each statement deserves a ‘1.’  Look back over your responses and note how many you gave a ‘3’ or a ‘4.’  Each statement you disagreed with represents an area of your life that is at odds with the truth.  And not believing in the truth negatively impacts our lives just as strongly as believing in lies negatively impacts our lives.

Over the coming weeks we will explore each of these truths in depth.  Before doing so, however, we need to lay some groundwork on the essence of truth.   There are certain realities about the nature of truth that we need to understand in order to move forward and successfully embrace the truths outlined above.  So, this week we will explore the ‘truth about the truth.’


The Truth is a Prerequisite for Personal Growth
The basis for most emotional, mental and spiritual issues is the lack of truth.  Without the truth, we are in bondage to relationship difficulties, emotional problems and spiritual turmoil.   Think about it from a purely physical standpoint.  If you fall and break your arm, you have a choice:  to ignore the pain and carry on as if nothing happened or acknowledge that you’ve broken your arm and go to a doctor for treatment.  If you ignore the pain, the arm will eventually set itself.  But, it will not fully heal and you will continue to experience ongoing pain and limited use of the arm because it was not made whole.  There are negative consequences to ignoring the truth of a broken arm.  But if you go to a doctor, he knows how to set the arm so that complete healing is achieved.  Later in life you will experience little or no pain and will have full use of your arm.

Ignoring the truth that your arm is broken only leads to more pain and it stunts the arm’s ability to function properly.  Similarly, ignoring the truth in the circumstances of your life only leads to more pain and prevents you from living life to the full.  Jeremiah 6:14 says, “They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious.  ‘Peace, peace, peace,’ they say, when there is not peace.”  Circumstances do not typically change on their own.  If you choose to do nothing about a problem, it will remain for as long as you ignore it.  The only sure way to change your pain into gain and your sorrow into joy is to face the truth head-up and then start taking steps to resolve it.  Then you can live your live to the fullest.  In John 8:32, Jesus said, “Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” 


The Truth Isn’t Ours
Who owns truth?  The New Age movement would have us believe that truth is subjective – that what each person believes is the truth for them and that there is no absolute truth.  That statement in itself, however, is an absolute.  So, the logic does not hold up.  The Bible tells us that God not only owns truth, but he himself is truth.  In John 14:6, Jesus says, “I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.”  In the Old Testament, when Moses asked God what to say when the Israelites ask the name of the God who sent him, God responds, “I AM WHO I AM.  This is what you are to say to the Israelites:  I AM has sent me to you.” (Exodus 2:14)    God is I AM.  His being is TRUTH.  Whatever God is and says and does is truth. 

For sake of an example, think of truth as a 1,000 piece puzzle.  However, we may only have 100 pieces of the puzzle.  We see the truth of the pieces we are given but it is up to God to give us more pieces of the puzzle.  And some pieces may never be revealed to us.  Trust comes into play here.  Even if we don’t know all the ‘whys’ or ‘whats’ or ‘whens’ of the truth, we know the owner of the truth and we can rely on him to provide us the pieces we need when we need them.

Yet there are still times when I believe I know the truth of a situation, only to find out later how wrong I was!  Searching for truth in each circumstance may be the single most important contribution we can make to the situation.  And God provides the truth in a variety of ways.  Here are a few:
  • His Word
  • Direct revelation
  • Our own experiences
  • Experiences of others
  • Counsel of others, books
  • Circumstances

It is ultimately up to each of us to decide if we accept what God has revealed as truth.  He has given us free will not only for salvation but also for the everyday decisions of life.  Each day contains a myriad of choices and we choose either to embrace the truth or refuse it in each decision.  And it usually not on a conscience level that we make those choices.  They are revealed by our actions, by whether we are live according to the Word of God or not.


The Truth Will Stand Forever
This is good news.  The truth is not shifting sand.  So many things in life change so rapidly, but the truth is the truth forever.  It is a firm foundation upon which we can build our lives and make all our decisions.  It is security and peace.  There is no need to doubt our choices if we have made them according to the truth.  No matter what the consequences of those choices appear to be on the surface, we know that we have made wise decisions when we base it on the truth.  In 1 Timothy 3:14-15, Paul says, “Although I hope to come to you soon, I am writing you these instructions so that, if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.”


The Truth Means Being Willing to Doubt
God made us in his image, including providing a mind with which we can apply reasoning and logic to the circumstances of life.  This is apparent in his granting us free will to choose him or not, to believe him or not, to trust him or not.  Healthy doubting means asking questions and exploring and discovering the truth for yourself.  Do not blindly take anyone’s opinions as your own.  1 Timothy 4:1 warns us that “the Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons.”   1 Thessalonians 5:21 says, “Test everything.  Hold on to the good.” 


The Truth has Barriers
The truth can be hard to attain at times due to certain barriers which we unwittingly raise against it.  We all have life experiences and world views that color how we see the world.   Sometimes those worldviews contain barriers than can be difficult to see, let alone break down.  One of those barriers is prejudice.  Prejudice is a pre-conceived notion.  It is a question already answered.  And when a question is already answered, we no longer explore the possibilities.  In blocking out the possibility of alternative points of view, we block out the truth at the same time.  To be sure we are attaining truth, we first need to explore any prejudices we may have acquired from our family, friends, neighborhood or our culture in general.  Being aware of them is the first step in allowing truth to replace them.

Another barrier to learning the truth is our pride.   When we are prideful, we arrogantly believe we already know the truth.  When we accept something as fact, there is no longer a need to explore and discover truth.  If there is an area that you feel you don’t need to explore – that is probably one of the areas you most need to explore!  Have you really let God reveal truth to you or do you think you already know it and don’t need God or anyone else telling you differently?  Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”  And 11:2 says, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”


The Truth Comes Piece by Piece
The truth comes to us bit by bit, one piece of the puzzle at a time.  Learning the truth is no different than learning anything else.  We explore, study, memorize and we slowly retain what we’ve learned.  When my husband was learning the ins and outs of computers, he said that once he learned the basics, he saw that he could build on that knowledge little by little.  He could transfer his knowledge from his work program to personal email and other applications on our home computer.  Once you know that you can attach a file to a work program, you realize you can do the same thing on email.  Knowledge and truth builds upon itself. 

But we often fight against this reality because we want to learn everything now.  Once we set our minds on something, we want it right away.  We become easily frustrated and distracted when the truth comes slower than we planned.  It is easy to become discouraged or distracted when we are in the midst of a trial and the truth about the situation is unclear.  What we can do in that situation is place our trust and hope in God.  “But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently” (Romans 8:25).   Not only in trials, but in all things, God promised that He will reveal truth to us. 

It takes a lifetime to grow and learn and build on truth.  Sometimes we simply need to give ourselves ‘permission’ to learn piece by piece and to be content with the truth we know today, leaning on His promise to give us more truth tomorrow.  We can place our hope in the fact that tomorrow will be a good day because we will grow and learn again.  And when we know that more will come, we can practice waiting patiently yet eagerly for it.



The Truth Often Leads to Pain
Sometimes the truth hurts.  Using the earlier example of breaking an arm – to have the arm set is painful as the doctor carefully moves the limb into the correct position before creating a cast.  Similarly, diving into the truth can initially be painful as it reveals the reality of our lives, ourselves or others.

In recovery programs, the first action is to ‘step out of denial.’  The reason we are in denial in the first place is that we do not want to face the pain of our situation.  So, we cover the pain with a multitude of distractions and addictions.  To stop the distractions means stepping back into the pain.  That is difficult to do, but it is a necessary step in resolving the problem.  A problem is not resolved if it is not faced.  Yet we have a tendency to delay the search for truth until the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. 

And that is my prayer for us all.  Even though it is difficult, I pray that God makes the pain of staying the same greater than the pain of changing.  But along with that, I pray He clearly reveals the hope of the glorious consequences of walking through the truth with Him…that we may know in the depths of our hearts that the other side of valley is more than worth the walk.


“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”   (Ephesians 3:20)







Questions
  1. The truth is a prerequisite for personal growth.  Share a time when you did not initially accept the truth of a situation.  What were the consequences?
  2. The truth isn’t ours.  Are you willing to accept God’s truth even if it is not what you would like it to be?  Why or why not. 
    1. Alternative question:  Do your actions reveal that you are living by God’s truth or by your own truth?
  3. The truth will stand forever.  Does knowing that God’s truth is eternal bring security and peace to you? Explain.
  4. The truth means being willing to doubt.  Is there a situation in your life that you are willing to re-examine to determine if you have been dealing in the truth?  What would be a first step you could take to do so?
  5. The truth has barriers.  Share a time when your prejudice or pride hindered your ability to see truth.
  6. The truth comes piece by piece.  Do you have a hard time patiently waiting for truth – whether it is in the resolution of a situation, a desire to grow spiritually or the ability to learn a new skill?  Provide an example.
  7. The truth often leads to pain.  Have your tendencies to run away from pain ever prolonged a problem?  Explain.  Are you willing to accept the pain that exploring truth may bring?

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

LIES WE BELIEVE: Gender Lies Part 2

LIES WE BELIEVE – Gender Lies

The majority of content must be captured through the audio - Part 1 & Part 2.... Much of the information presented comes from "25 Questions & "10 Lies the Church Tells Women" by J. Lee Grady

Gender Lies - Review from last week

GENDER LIES  A few examples…
·        Women are not equipped nor should they ever lead – they are created to be followers not leaders
·        Men do not have the capacity to be as emotional as women
·        Women are more easily deceived than men
·        A man needs to ‘cover’ a woman in her ministry activities
·        Men are analytical, love sports & lack nurturing capabilities
And .. most women love to shop, have babies, cook and stay home.. men love the remote control, tv and being in a man cave…   NOT!


Lie #2  A man should always ‘cover’ a woman in her ministry activities

1 Cor 11:3
And 1 cor 11:10
1 cor 11:5


Lie #3  Women are more easily deceived than me
Can we blame Eve for everything?

1 Tim 2:12-14
1. Eve was not a ‘goddess mother’
2. Eve was not ‘enlightened’, she made a sinful choice

Lie #4 Women must obediently submit to their husbands in all situations

Survey Responses of Pastors/ Church leaders
26%
25%
A majority
71%

God opposes violence (see Prov 21:7, Ez 45:9)
Malachi 2:16
Malachi 2:17
(see Matthew 20:25-26)
Eph 5:21
Eph 4:22-23
 ‘hupotasso’: to identify with

Galatians 3:28
There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Final slide…  picture of Korea


GROUP WORK  - GENDER LIES – PART 1 & 2

1.    What was your reaction to the ‘slavery illustration’?  How about the video?
2.    Discuss the specific lies presented tonight and how they have personally impacted you or those you care about/ know.

Go through each one separately… and have sharing time..

Lie #1 Women are not equipped nor should they ever lead – they are created to be followers not leaders

Lie #2  A man should always ‘cover’ a woman in her ministry activities

Lie #3  Women are more easily deceived than men

Lie #4 Women must obediently submit to their husbands in all situations

As you consider the information presented today, what is your personal take away and prayer request for this week?

THE LIES WE BELIEVE: GENDER LIES PART 1


LIES WE BELIEVE – Gender Lies

The majority of content must be captured through the audio - Part 1 & Part 2.... Much of the information presented comes from "25 Questions & "10 Lies the Church Tells Women" by J. Lee Grady

INTRO – Slavery story from "Victory over the Darkness"

Remember...Satan is the Father of Lies – to believe and live out lies means we are following him not God! – This validates the importance of doing a daily truth workout. 

There are no cures on the road to spiritual and emotional health because the enemy works all of the time on us. There are however daily victories over lies that we can consistently have.

GENDER LIES  A few examples…
·        Women are not equipped nor should they ever lead – they are created to be followers not leaders
·        Men do not have the capacity to be as emotional as women
·        Women are more easily deceived than men
·        A man needs to ‘cover’ a woman in her ministry activities
·        Men are analytical, love sports & lack nurturing capabilities
And .. most women love to shop, have babies, cook and stay home.. men love the remote control, tv and being in a man cave…   NOT!

What kind of negative impact do gender lies create?
Discuss

Let’s look at a few of the lies about women tonight… but first… check out this video.


 
Lie #1 Women are not equipped nor should they ever lead – they are created to be followers not leaders

Did Jesus believe women could lead?
Luke 8:1-3  
Just put :  See Acts 1:4-5 next
Acts 2:17  –  If Christ commissioned solely men to the ministry of the gospel, why did He send the power for that mission upon both men and women?

Examples:  Samaritan woman (John 4:7-42)   vs 39


Mary of Bethany (see Matthew 26:6-13)
Matthew 26:13

The Gospel Empowers Women
Biblical Examples:
Miriam (see Micah 6:4 & Exodus 15:20)
Deborah (see Judges 4 and 5)
Huldah (see 2 Kings 22)
Esther – (see Esther 4)
Phoebe – (see Romans 16)
Priscilla (see Acts 18)
Philip’s daughters  (see Acts 21) - prophetesses



Galatians 3:28
There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.


GROUP WORK  - GENDER LIES – PART 1 & 2

1.    What was your reaction to the ‘slavery illustration’?  How about the video?
2.    Discuss the specific lies presented tonight and how they have personally impacted you or those you care about/ know.

Go through each one separately… and have sharing time..

Lie #1 Women are not equipped nor should they ever lead – they are created to be followers not leaders

Lie #2  A man should always ‘cover’ a woman in her ministry activities

Lie #3  Women are more easily deceived than men

Lie #4 Women must obediently submit to their husbands in all situations

As you consider the information presented today, what is your personal take away and prayer request for this week?