HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY - LESSON 2

Note:  check out the audio version of each lesson that will be posted the week following the original presentation to get the explanations and illustrations that may be mentioned in the notes each week.

IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM - Part 1

This lesson and the next couple of weeks is on identifying the problem (refer back to quagmire monologue).  It’s just like a math equation – if we don’t know the problem.. we cannot find the solution - Or for that matter, the solution-giver, Jesus Christ.  
2 ___ 2 =    What’s the answer?  We won’t know unless we can identify the details of the problem – is it a -, + , x ???  The same is true of our life issues… we must identify the details of the problem or get to a place where we even admit we have a problem!  

I have met hundreds of people over the years - And many I have discovered have matured physically but not mentally, emotionally relationally or spiritually.  I know individuals, including myself that started this journey of self-awareness and healing to find themselves being emotionally stuck at an age far younger than their physical bodies.  Personally.. I think when I started pursuing recovery, my mind and emotions and my relational abilities were probably about at an 18 or 19 year old level but physically I was 28.  I deal with individuals in  counseling that mature physically and still relate and deal with their feelings and relationships as if they were in their early 20’s or younger and sometimes even throw tantrums like they were still toddlers. Can you relate?  Truth – when we have something traumatic happen, begin to use addictive substances or have some other form of tragedy in our growing up years, we often stagnate at that point in certain areas of our lives.  For example… the person who starts smoking marijuana or abusing other substances at 15 years of age will more than likely grow into adulthood with the relational abilities of a 15 year old.  

Could it be that part of the issue in the Body of Christ today is exactly what we are talking about here?  Christ followers who came to a saving knowledge of Jesus 20+ years ago but still act like they are a 1 year old Christian?  Could it be that this is the reason many make such lousy human beings – they are simply stuck in their development?  I think so!  The other part of the problem also revolves around misapplied biblical truths that not only damage our closest relationships but also obstruct God’s work of profoundly transforming us deep beneath the surface – remember the iceberg?

Here are the Top Ten Symptoms of Unhealthy Spirituality most of which come from Peter Scazzero’s book.  I will go through the list and then we will go back and spend some time looking at each.  You will find some overlap in the list I gave you last week which was “Why Christians are not Healthy/ Whole”:    
       1.    Using God to Run from God

2.    Ignoring emotions

3.    Dying to the wrong things

4.    Denying the past’s impact on our lives

5.    Dividing our lives into ‘secular’ and ‘sacred’ compartments

6.    Doing for God instead of ‘being’ with God

7.    Spiritualizing away conflict       

8.    Covering over brokenness, weakness and failure

9.    Living without limits

10.       Judging other people’s spiritual journey

(edited version from Emotionally Healthy Spirituality)

1.   Using God to Run from God – Few killer viruses are more difficult to discern than this one.  Tons of Christian activities – filling all your time to keep from dealing with pain.  We dealt with this issue in the last class I taught (Telling Yourself the Truth) as we talked about the truth ‘Life is Hard/Not Fair and Growth & Healing are Painful’.. however, we all have the tendency of avoiding anything and everything uncomfortable and definitely painful!  So we run from pain instead of embracing it which in essence is running from God.  What we need to do is very similar to child birth.. relax and work with the pain.. the more an expectant mother fights the pain she is in , the harder the labor.  The same is true for any emotional challenges we face… we need to embrace it, allow it to teach us, train us, grow us and then we will be able to release and heal..  Most Christians fall into this camp of dealing with pain – using God stuff to run from God… running from pain is running from God…  God calls us to enter into the sufferings of Christ… and let’s face it, it is in the valleys we grow..

What is God’s will for us?  Romans 8:29…”we are predestined to be conformed to the likeness of Jesus Christ” We like 8:28 (all things work together for the good) and skip 8:29… or we especially skip the knowledge of how vs 29 is going to happen in our lives. Folks – it’s going to take working through pain.. dealing with discomfort.. moving through it, not making attempts to go around it.

Here are some examples of God-activity that helps us ignore difficult areas in our lives that God wants to change:

·        Doing God’s work to satisfy me, not Him

·        Doing things in His name that He never asked me to do (1 of the 10 commandments) – taking His name in vain (explain).  I heard a teaching from Pastor Shawn Hennessey – about taking God’s name in vain -- it is not about ‘swearing’ as most of us might think…. It’s about putting God’s stamp of approval on things that are not of Him at all.

Vain – def – idle, worthless, foolish – implies either absolute or relative absence of value.

·        Praying according to God doing my will not my surrendering to His – How many of us pray this way regularly – "God help me do.. God bless this" ..and the reality is, we have never consulted Him on what He wants.. instead we are coming up with what we want and desire and then ask Him to bless it and make it happen.. God’s word says that when our prayers go answered it is possible that not only is it that we simply "don’t ask, but when we ask, we ask amiss”..  that’s what that passage is talking about in John 16..

·        Demonstrating “Christian behaviors” so significant people think well of me – wear masks/ pretend/ present a false self

·        Focusing on certain theological points that are more about my own fears and unresolved issues/ things I am uncomfortable with than concern for God’s truth.  (ex: 1 Cor 14:40 – “everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way”)

·        Using truth to judge and devalue others – there is a difference between judging and looking at behaviors and situations realistically/ factually

·        Exaggerating my accomplishments for God to subtly compete with others – my church (pastor speaking) has 1,000 members, I have read through the entire Bible 12 times, I fast 5 times a year, etc..

·        Saying ‘the Lord told me…’ when the truth is, ‘I think the Lord told me …’ – this can definitely be a form of manipulation – what happens in prayer lines & alter calls

·        Using Scripture to justify the sinful parts of my family, culture, and nation instead of evaluating them under His Lordship – we can truly find Scripture to validate almost anything WE want – another reason why we need to be diligent about proper study of God’s word – consider the context, the culture, the audience, and the totality of God’s word and truth

·        Hiding behind God-talk/ Christianeze, deflecting any spotlight on my inner cracks and becoming defensive about my failures – What does this look like?  Ever been in a discussion group where it starts to get really personal and someone there is obviously uncomfortable with that – all of a sudden they take things from a deep sharing level back up to the surface by offering pat answers and Christian clichés – sometimes it’s even the person who is sharing – they start getting in touch with deep emotion and quickly dismiss it by spouting off Scripture and clichés. Examples: Ro 8:28, when God gives you lemons, make lemonade, no pain, no gain

·        Applying Biblical principles selectively when it suits my purposes but avoid situations that would require me to make life changes

Join me next week as I team teach with my husband, Mike Smith to complete the lesson on "Defining the Problem".  

GROUP WORK – LESSON 2 - Parts 1 & 2

HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY – DEFINING THE PROBLEM (Covers all 10 Symptoms)

1.  Of the 10 Symptoms of Unhealthy Spirituality, which one(s) do you identify with the most?   

1.     Using God to run from God

2.    Ignoring emotions

3.    Dying to the wrong things

4.    Denying the past’s impact on our lives

5.    Dividing our lives into ‘secular’ and ‘sacred’ compartments

6.    Doing for God instead of ‘being’ with God

7.    Spiritualizing away conflict       

8.    Covering over brokenness, weakness and failure

9.    Living without limits

      10.    Judging other people’s spiritual journey

2.  With the discussion/ materials presented for 'using God to run from God', what were some of the things you have used in the past to run from God's will/ what He was asking you to do?

3.  Do you see any compartmentalizing in your own life or the lives of those you are in relationship with?  Share.

4.  Discuss some of the healthy limits and boundaries you have placed on your life that help you in moving toward balance.

5.  What are some of the prejudices you have had in the past or currently?