HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY - LESSON 3

IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM - Part 2

Thank you for continuing with our lessons on Healthy Spirituality.  If you stick with it, you will find life transformation.  Please check back and listen to the audio version where you will get greater explanation of the notes below (they are uploaded typically 1 week after the actual lesson is taught)

REVIEW THE 10 SYMPTOMS OF UNHEALTHY SPIRITUALITY - Following are #2-7

SYMPTOMS OF UNHEALTHY SPIRITUALITY:

2.   Ignoring Emotions - we discussed this a bit last week... as believers we have often been taught to ignore our feelings especially the ones we deem 'bad' - anger, fear, sadness.  Our emotions are a gift from God and yet we have been taught to ignore, suppress, dismiss them and told that is Biblical - using passages such as Jer 17:9  “⁹ The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” , and demands God places on us in Phil 4:6 “⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”, and Is 41:10.. ^“10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
 I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

 What is the proper interpretation of God's word as it relates to fear?  For a very long time early in my walk with the Lord, I thought the 'do not fear' passages were being spoken from God like a 'command' -- now don't you be afraid!  It was like a mandate so if I was afraid, I always felt I was in sin or disappointing God.  What I have discovered through my study of various texts and going back to the original language is - it is not that way at all!  An picture of what God is saying to us is like .. a small child waking up in the middle of the night from a nightmare or a storm.. when the parent/ we go in to their room after they are crying for us, do we yell at them and tell them not to be afraid/ demand/ command it?  Of course not.. what do we say?  It's going to be ok.. don't be afraid, I'm right here.. that is how God is speaking to us.  Big difference isn't it?

And what about anger?  Many are taught that anger is sin... but it is not - 'be angry, sin not'... and... any time we are angry and open up about it.. what is the response we get oftentimes?  "Now _____ you know that God is in control." "Anger doesn’t produce the righteousness of God"… "You need to just forgive"…"Jesus was lied to and cheated as well, so stop the anger, it is pointless.... you must forgive so let it go, move on."

Peter Scazzero says, "To feel is human.  To minimize or deny what we feel is a distortion of what it means to be image bearers of our personal God. To the degree that we are unable to express our emotions, we remain impaired in our ability to love god, others, and ourselves well.” 

3.   Dying to the wrong things - I have talked about this several times in the past - Luke 9:23 says we are to deny ourselves and take up our cross daily and follow Christ.  Many have interpreted this passage inaccurately.  The message they received is that 'we'/ 'they' must cease to exist - all of who I am is annihilated.  The apostle Paul said "I die daily".. Again, what does the proper interpretation of these passages mean? 

We must die to the sinful parts of who we are - we must die to our defensiveness, arrogance, stubbornness, character defects (we discuss this quite often in Celebrate Recovery and the 12 Steps).. what else?  we must die to our hypocrisy, our self-protective devices, our judgmentalism..and of course the obvious lists:  Exodus 20:13-16 & Eph 4:25 murder, lying, stealing, etc.  We are not called to die to the good parts of who we are... God made us unique/ special with our own God-given bents and personality.  

Are we called to die to our dreams, wishes, hopes and desires?  Sometimes... but what exactly does that mean and when would God call me to do so? - only when they compete with our affection for Him!  Anything can become an idol in our lives even our goals and dreams!  However, what we are talking about here is... we need to realize that those things oftentimes line up with passions God has put in us - not something we have conjured up on our own.  So.. he wants us to enjoy them.. there is healthiness in this!

4.   Denying the past’s impact on our lives - We touched on this last week and we will spend some extended time on this in a later lesson but the point to remember here is that many will use Scripture to condemn you or challenge you about dealing with your past.. For example 'the old has gone, the new has come' 2 Cor 5:17

There is a slogan I continue to hear that goes something like this: stop looking in the rear view mirror while going forward.. it's hazardous to your future... I get what they mean but the truth is:  while driving .. we have to use our rear view mirror and our side mirrors because there are blind spots - the same is true of our lives.. we have to look back in order to go forward in health... we have to use our mirrors while driving in order to find safety as we drive forward to our destination.

The process of sanctification/ growing into health and maturity in 'all the parts' is going to require/ demand we go back in order to break free from unhealthy patterns and false beliefs that prevent us from loving ourselves, God and others.

5.   Dividing our lives into ‘secular’ and ‘sacred’ compartments - We all have the ability to compartmentalize our lives.  Examples - we all know some well known public Christian figures that were an amazing influence on thousands of lives by their preaching and yet, they were living a double life full of sexual sin, etc... I recommend Beth Moore's book "When Godly People do Ungodly Things" There are other reasons... but this is definitely one that enables that to happen. We all have the uncanny ability to compartmentalize - we do our 'Christian activities' around church and all our spiritual disciplines without including God in our marriage... or in our jobs... or in our parenting... or in our friendships.... in our lifestyles...  The statistics are devastating that support this:

• church members divorce their spouses as often as their secular neighbors
• ..beat their wives as often as their neighbors
• ..their giving patterns indicate they are almost as materialistic as the rest of the world
• white evangelicals are the most likely people to object to neighbors of another race
• of the higher-commitment evangelicals, 26% think premarital sex is acceptable, while 46% of lower-commitment evangelicals believe it to be okay 

Good book on this topic that I read several years ago is "The Scandal of the Evangelical Conscience" - the consequences of this on our witness for Christ is staggering -- people look at us and continue to cry 'hypocrite'... not only that.. but.. we are missing out on the genuine joy we could have in Christ by living compartment-ally....  a fulfilling, joy-filled life (John 15:11 ¹¹I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.)  

It's all about Lordship folks!   We come to saving faith in Christ.... and many stop right there.. the journey is about surrendering all the areas of our lives...  one area at a time or several at a time.. but we must surrender to His Lordship.  This is what it means to be a fully devoted follower of Jesus Christ.

6.   Doing for God instead of ‘being’ with God - Praying and enjoying God's presence for no other reason than to delight in Him is where we need to be.  And yet, so many get the message of 'service/ serving' that is above and beyond that of relationship building.  The message we get is:

• doing more for God is a sign of spiritual maturity
• it's all up to you...and you'll never finish while you're alive on this earth..so get busy and stay busy
• God can't move unless you pray
• you are responsible to share Christ around you at all times
• you must persevere and hold things together or they'll fall apart                        

None of these things are necessarily wrong but... they must properly flow from a life WITH God - we cannot give away what we do not possess.   Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God”..  Not in the hereafter but now, are you ‘seeing God’.. the only way is through that intimate connecting with Him.

7.   Spiritualizing away conflict - This is a big one in the church... there is a lot of 'sweeping things under the rug' going on.  Let's face it... we ALL hate conflict but.. ignoring it is not God's way... ignoring it only creates more pain, confusion and yes, CONFLICT - even if it is all internalized.  This is the reason I believe most church splits happen, the break up of small groups, ministries, even some marriages.  So.. how do people generally deal with conflict in unhealthy ways:

• say one thing to the person's face and another behind their back (gossip / slander)
• make promises or say 'yes' to things they have no intention of keeping
• blame
• attack
• give the silent treatment
• use sarcasm
• give in because we don't want to be rejected or disliked
• 'leak' your anger through triangulation (explain) or using e-mail or text that uses criticism
• tell only half truths - we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings
• avoid/ withdraw/ cut off

Jesus did not avoid conflict.  He is the perfect model for us.  "Out of a desire to bring true peace, Jesus disrupted the false peace all around Him.  He refused to 'spiritualize away" conflict."